MEN ARE LIKE::::

PLACEMATS

They only show up when there's food on the table. ...

MASCARA


They usually run at the first sign of emotion. ...


BIKE HELMETS


They're good in emergencies but usually just look silly. ...


GOVERNMENT BONDS

They take so long to mature......

COPIERS


You need them in reproduction but that's about it. ...


LAVA LAMPS

Fun to look at it but not all that bright. ...


BANK ACCOUNTS

Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. ...


HIGH HEELS

They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it. ...


CURLING IRONS

They're always hot and always in your hair. ...


MINI SKIRTS

If your not careful they'll creep up your legs. ...


HANDGUNS


Keep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.

YES !!! RIGHT ON ! Back at ya men !!

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Men are dogs...woof woof.

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT??? WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

p.s. men ARE dogs, and it's NO coincidence that dog spelled backwards is "god"...so now you know the REAL secret...men are gods. Thank you, thank you very much.

Hmmmm... Let's see... so using your logic that means that god is a dog! And since you are a god you are still just a dog? Girls... help me out... do I have this right?

Men are indeed like dogs. If you pick the right one (women always make good choices, right?)you get someone who is devoted to you, faithful to a fault (even when you don't deserve it), and would lay down his life for you for just a pat on the head. Gives a lot, expects little in return.

Women are more like cats.

If you leave the door open far enough, no telling who will wander in. I married a Dianne, those 2 N's obviously are a tipoff.

I like this Bobber dude!!!! Keep it up, guy...I've been alone in this battle for far too long!!

Caligirl...you just prove the point that women cannot follow logic.
Yes, I am dog-like (faithful, friendly, protective), AND god-like (body like Adonis)!

Bobber...you hit the nail on the head, man! Those 2 n's are a tipoff...kinda like vanity plates on a jaguar...red flag!! Actually the 2 n's are straight from WA-NN-BE !!!

Di...I heard that men are like linoleum...if you lay them right the first time...you can walk on them for a life time!!

Fortunately for us, few of you EVER get it right the first time!!!!!