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Joined: Jan 2001
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Pirate, been off the board for awhile, but have been following. Hint; If you're going to match wits with any of the ladies on this board, make sure you have backup. They are an intimidating bunch.


Been there, done that, the washing machine ate the T-shirt
Joined: Mar 2001
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They may be intimidating...but they're all fluff! If'n they wanna match wits with me, they're outgunned!!! Kinda like a peashooter vs. an ICBM...but it's fun to watch 'em try... [Linked Image]
It's just nice to have someone join the cause!! Welcome aboard, matey!

Joined: Jul 2001
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PIRATE...Guess I got it right the first time!!!! Body like ADONIS...well almost counts with horseshoes and handgranades Guess I'll cut you some slack...your lovely wife...K

Joined: Jun 2001
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HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
Compliment her,cuddle her,kiss her,caress her,
love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her,
protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her,
listen to her, care for her, stand by her,
support her, go to the ends of the earth for her....

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:
Show up naked..... with Beer

Guys... don't even try to pretend that this isn't true.

Joined: Mar 2001
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Caligirl....I know you are a newbie, but I posted that 6 mos. ago! C'mon...let's see whatcha got!!!
Just goes to show ya...women are a lot more trouble than beer.

Oh, and she-devil...you did get it right the first time. BODY LIKE ADONIS ! [Linked Image]

[This message has been edited by Over_40_Pirate (edited 07-26-2001).]

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You got it right Caligirl. Now, who has the hardest job? Showing up naked with beer is easy, a no brainer. All the other things we have to do for our women involve choices and timing. That's a tall order for a gender that is always wrong. On the other hand, if you show up naked with the wrong beer, you might still be able to recover.


Been there, done that, the washing machine ate the T-shirt
Joined: Jul 2001
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Caligirl, some men are easier than that to please...me for one.

Forget the beer!

MD (aka kum2gether)

Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 680
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Listening to political speeches is a lot like listening to your wife - you know something is going on even though you're not paying much attention to it.

If you want your wife to listen to what you have to say, talk in your sleep.

The next war will be like a fight with your wife - impossible to win it or end it.

An exhaustive study of police records shows that no wife ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

A wife will always forgive and forget - but
she'll never let you forget that she forgave and forgot.

If a man's wife is his better half, and he
marries twice, what then becomes of him?
Pretend to treat your wife as a rational
creature.
It may surprise her at first, but she'll appreciate it.
On the other hand, she may burst out crying -
thinking you're drunk again.

The one thing that proves you can't afford to
support a wife is having one.

Many a man met his wife through a dating service - her mother!

A word to the wife is never sufficient.

Any man who doesn't know what his wife is
thinking hasn't been listening.

It's foolish to worry about something beyond your control - such as your wife.

A yawn is nature's provision for making it possible for husbands to open their mouths.

One reason it's often difficult to coax men to go to church is that men aren't interested in what other men are wearing.

It is intuition that enables a woman to put two and two together and come up with any answer that suits her.

If you believe that a woman hasn't a mind of her own, you've never served on a jury.

The man who said the art of conversation is dead never stood outside a telephone booth waiting for a woman to finish talking.

An optimist thinks the woman in the phone booth will be right out because he heard her say good bye.

When a woman suffers in silence, the phone is
probably out of order.

When a man answers the phone he reaches for a
pencil; when a woman answers she reaches for a chair.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I
don't like to interrupt her.

If you want to make a woman nervous, just put her in a room with a hundred hats and no mirror.

A woman likes a man best who has a will of his own -
made out in her name.

Women distrust men too much in general and not enough in particular.

Joined: Jun 2001
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OK Pirate - Let's see....

How do you know if a man is well-hung?

If you can't squeeze a finger between his neck and the noose, he's well-hung.

"If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?"

Answer: Yes

Why did the man cross the road?
Because there were no women on his side.

As for men being simple and women being complicated... this is true. Trust me, as men evolve they will become more complicated too. Don't feel bad about your simplicity. We still find a way to love you anyway.

[This message has been edited by Caligirl (edited 07-27-2001).]

Joined: Mar 2001
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Aha!! a scrappy little wench YOU turned out to be.....!!!!

and how can you tell if a man likes Moosehead??



...from the antler marks on his thighs!

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