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#138198 - 08/30/01 05:46 PM A Joke for all you Lawyers  
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 5,441
ScubaLdy Offline
ScubaLdy  Offline
This was taken from an actual transcript:

Doctor: Before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

Take only pictures leave only bubbles
#138199 - 05/13/02 02:04 PM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers  
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,132
Gela Offline
Gela  Offline
Responding to this old post re: Lawyers. The following was told to me today. My apologies if I offend any of the attorneys who frequent this board.

What's the difference between a Rooster and a Lawyer... The rooster clucks defiance.

Gela's AC Motto: "All Roads Used to Lead to BC's - Now They Lead to Hurricane's!"
#138200 - 05/14/02 08:27 AM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers  
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 5,255
sweetjane Offline
sweetjane  Offline
you ladies know that laurie (lmarquis) is an attorney [Linked Image]

...with a sense of humor.

#138201 - 05/14/02 08:57 AM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers  
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,672
LaurieMar Offline
LaurieMar  Offline
LOL. Oh thank you, Jane - ya got that right! I have heard them all and then some. My dad is the biggest offender! Everybody hates lawyers, but sooner or later, everybody needs one!

#138202 - 05/14/02 09:40 AM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers  
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 208
BankerWoman Offline
BankerWoman  Offline
Laurie and susangg: Not only have we HEARD them all, we're probably the worst about passing them on, right? [Linked Image]

#138203 - 05/28/02 05:38 PM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers  
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 181
Turnbun Offline
Turnbun  Offline
Us lawyers know all the best lawyer jokes!

Why don't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy!

Ba dum dum....

#138204 - 05/28/02 07:05 PM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers  
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 5,255
sweetjane Offline
sweetjane  Offline
um, that's "WE lawyers".

#138205 - 05/28/02 08:31 PM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers  
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 39
ljacks Offline
ljacks  Offline
An Elephant has a lion following it and eating all it's droppings.
The elephant asks why (to the lion) are you eating all my droppings.
Lion answers 'I ate a lawyer and am trying to get the taste out of my mouth'.

#138206 - 05/28/02 11:20 PM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers  
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 11,001
klcman Offline
klcman  Offline
Jane -

That's why they're lawyers and not English teachers.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _________________ _ _ _ _ _ _
But then what do I know, I am but a mere caveman
#138207 - 05/28/02 11:32 PM Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers  
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,672
LaurieMar Offline
LaurieMar  Offline
True, KCLman, but my undergraduate degree is in English. What do ya say to that? Also, I can't do math worth a shit! I can argue under the table, if need be. . .

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