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A Joke for all you Lawyers #138198
08/30/01 05:46 PM
08/30/01 05:46 PM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 5,518
Birdland - 1 mile north
ScubaLdy Offline OP
.
ScubaLdy  Offline OP
This was taken from an actual transcript:

Doctor: Before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere.


Harriette
Take only pictures leave only bubbles
Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers #138199
05/13/02 02:04 PM
05/13/02 02:04 PM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,132
San Jose, CA USA
Gela Offline
.
Gela  Offline
Responding to this old post re: Lawyers. The following was told to me today. My apologies if I offend any of the attorneys who frequent this board.

What's the difference between a Rooster and a Lawyer... The rooster clucks defiance.


Gela's AC Motto: "All Roads Used to Lead to BC's - Now They Lead to Hurricane's!"
Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers #138200
05/14/02 08:27 AM
05/14/02 08:27 AM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 5,255
bucks county, PA
sweetjane Offline
.
sweetjane  Offline
you ladies know that laurie (lmarquis) is an attorney [Linked Image]

...with a sense of humor.

Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers #138201
05/14/02 08:57 AM
05/14/02 08:57 AM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,672
Northern California
L
LaurieMar Offline
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LaurieMar  Offline
L
LOL. Oh thank you, Jane - ya got that right! I have heard them all and then some. My dad is the biggest offender! Everybody hates lawyers, but sooner or later, everybody needs one!

Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers #138202
05/14/02 09:40 AM
05/14/02 09:40 AM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 208
Bettendorf, Iowa USA
B
BankerWoman Offline
 
BankerWoman  Offline
B
Laurie and susangg: Not only have we HEARD them all, we're probably the worst about passing them on, right? [Linked Image]

Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers #138203
05/28/02 05:38 PM
05/28/02 05:38 PM
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 181
Austin, TX USA
T
Turnbun Offline
 
Turnbun  Offline
T
Us lawyers know all the best lawyer jokes!

Why don't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy!

Ba dum dum....

Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers #138204
05/28/02 07:05 PM
05/28/02 07:05 PM
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 5,255
bucks county, PA
sweetjane Offline
.
sweetjane  Offline
um, that's "WE lawyers".

Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers #138205
05/28/02 08:31 PM
05/28/02 08:31 PM
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 39
Belize
L
ljacks Offline
 
ljacks  Offline
L
An Elephant has a lion following it and eating all it's droppings.
The elephant asks why (to the lion) are you eating all my droppings.
Lion answers 'I ate a lawyer and am trying to get the taste out of my mouth'.

Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers #138206
05/28/02 11:20 PM
05/28/02 11:20 PM
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 11,026
Rockport, Maine
klcman Offline
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klcman  Offline
Jane -

That's why they're lawyers and not English teachers.


_ _ _ _ _ _ _________________ _ _ _ _ _ _
But then what do I know, I am but a mere caveman
Re: A Joke for all you Lawyers #138207
05/28/02 11:32 PM
05/28/02 11:32 PM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,672
Northern California
L
LaurieMar Offline
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LaurieMar  Offline
L
True, KCLman, but my undergraduate degree is in English. What do ya say to that? Also, I can't do math worth a shit! I can argue under the table, if need be. . .

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