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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
OP Offline
It was the first day of school in St.Augustine, FL. for a new student
named
Suzuki, son of a Japanese businessman, was entering the fourth grade
(and
new to America).


At the start of class, the teacher said, Let us begin by reviewing
some
American History. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death"?
The
teacher saw a sea of blank faces except for Suzuki, who had his hand
up.
"Patrick Henry, 1775," he said. "Very Good" replied the teacher.


Who said "Government, of the people, by the people, and for the people,
shall
not perish from the earth"? Again no response exept from Suzuki.
"Abraham
Lincoln, 1863," said Suzuki. The teacher snapped at the class,
"Class, you
should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more
about its
history than you do." She heard a loud whisper from the middle of the
class,
"Screw the Japanese".


"Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki put his hand up and said, "Lee
Iacocca, 1982." At that point a student in the back said "I'm gonna
puke."


The teacher glares and asks, "All right! Now, who said that?" Again,
Suzuki says , "George Bush, to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now the
sea of students are getting furious, and another students yells, "Oh
yeah?
Suck This!"


Suzuki immediately jumps out of his chair waving his hand, and shouts
to the
teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!" Now, with close
to a
mob hysteria developing, someone shouts, "You little shit. If you
say
anything else, I'll kill you."


Suzuki Frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to
Chandra
Levy, 2001." The teacher now faints; and as the class gathers around
the
teacher residing on the floor, someone says, "Oh shit, we're screwed."


Suzuki immediately says, "The Taliban- 2001!"


There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 81
R
Offline
R
Very funny! Just forwarded it on to friends.
Thanks for the laugh...Rhonda

Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 115
R
Offline
R
One of the better ones.......

Rocio

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 130
M
Offline
M
LOL...good joke Zeke. And yes, we do still owe you dinner. Would like nothing better than to make that deal happen. No real plans yet. Just started looking at the end of April or first of May for SP. Not sure yet but will keep you posted. I'll email you soon.

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
OP Offline
Granny was in her eighties, and much admired for her sweetness and
kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon
early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her parlor. He
took a
seat
while she prepared some tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ,
the
minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled
with
water.

In the water floated, of all things, a condom. Imagine his shock
and
surprise!
And, curiosity! Surely Miss Granny had flipped! But he felt he
couldn't mention the strange sight in her parlor. When she
returned
with tea
and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his
curiosity
about the bowl of water and the floating item, but soon it got
the
better of him, and he could resist no longer. "Miss Granny" he
said
while
pointing to the bowl, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?"
"Oh, Yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking
downtown
last
fall and I found this little package. The directions said to put
it on

the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent diseases. And you
know...

I haven't had a cold all winter."


There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,364
Offline
thank you zeke, i needed that this afternoon.
ho ho he he ha ha lol
gay

Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 9
V
Offline
V
Zeke's,
You won't believe what Butch and I bought!! Major!! You and Mrs need to get down here to celebrate with us!
Luv ya lots
Vicki
PS: where is your bud going to be coaching? no time for t.v...

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
OP Offline
Vicki....Congrats are in order for you and Butch. My man is heading to Washington to coach the Skins. If I keep picking losers with my gambling, I just might hop on the next plane outta here to hide from my bookies! Got any job openings for a broke old man down there?


There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 9
V
Offline
V
need a part time bartender!! come on down!! tricia is coming to work for us, as manager
she is coming home with me next week for a couple of weeks.
love ya'll

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,080
KC Offline
Offline
Vicki --
Spill it! What did ya buy? Another business on AC???? Inquiring minds want to know. Besides, I can't congratulate you unless I know what it's for! You guys watch out, you're going to own the island soon! [Linked Image]

Kathy


"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
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