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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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OP
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It was the first day of school in St.Augustine, FL. for a new student named Suzuki, son of a Japanese businessman, was entering the fourth grade (and new to America).
At the start of class, the teacher said, Let us begin by reviewing some American History. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death"? The teacher saw a sea of blank faces except for Suzuki, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said. "Very Good" replied the teacher.
Who said "Government, of the people, by the people, and for the people, shall not perish from the earth"? Again no response exept from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," said Suzuki. The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do." She heard a loud whisper from the middle of the class, "Screw the Japanese".
"Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki put his hand up and said, "Lee Iacocca, 1982." At that point a student in the back said "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glares and asks, "All right! Now, who said that?" Again, Suzuki says , "George Bush, to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991." Now the sea of students are getting furious, and another students yells, "Oh yeah? Suck This!"
Suzuki immediately jumps out of his chair waving his hand, and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!" Now, with close to a mob hysteria developing, someone shouts, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Suzuki Frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001." The teacher now faints; and as the class gathers around the teacher residing on the floor, someone says, "Oh shit, we're screwed."
Suzuki immediately says, "The Taliban- 2001!"
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 81
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Very funny! Just forwarded it on to friends. Thanks for the laugh...Rhonda
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 115
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One of the better ones.......
Rocio
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 130
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LOL...good joke Zeke. And yes, we do still owe you dinner. Would like nothing better than to make that deal happen. No real plans yet. Just started looking at the end of April or first of May for SP. Not sure yet but will keep you posted. I'll email you soon.
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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OP
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Granny was in her eighties, and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her parlor. He took a seat while she prepared some tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water.
In the water floated, of all things, a condom. Imagine his shock and surprise! And, curiosity! Surely Miss Granny had flipped! But he felt he couldn't mention the strange sight in her parlor. When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and the floating item, but soon it got the better of him, and he could resist no longer. "Miss Granny" he said while pointing to the bowl, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" "Oh, Yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking downtown last fall and I found this little package. The directions said to put it on
the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent diseases. And you know...
I haven't had a cold all winter."
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,364
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thank you zeke, i needed that this afternoon. ho ho he he ha ha lol gay
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 9
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Zeke's, You won't believe what Butch and I bought!! Major!! You and Mrs need to get down here to celebrate with us! Luv ya lots Vicki PS: where is your bud going to be coaching? no time for t.v...
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
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Vicki....Congrats are in order for you and Butch. My man is heading to Washington to coach the Skins. If I keep picking losers with my gambling, I just might hop on the next plane outta here to hide from my bookies! Got any job openings for a broke old man down there?
There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 9
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need a part time bartender!! come on down!! tricia is coming to work for us, as manager she is coming home with me next week for a couple of weeks. love ya'll
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 1,080
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Vicki -- Spill it! What did ya buy? Another business on AC???? Inquiring minds want to know. Besides, I can't congratulate you unless I know what it's for! You guys watch out, you're going to own the island soon! Kathy
"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
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