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#141429 - 01/25/02 05:15 PM martha stewart  

SOLUTIONS martha stewart

Martha's way #1:
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

My way:
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
Martha's way #2:
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

My way:
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's way #3:
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead --- and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

My way:
Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.
Martha's way #4:
If you accidentally over-salt a dish, while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up".

My way:
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. My motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.
Martha's way #5:
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

My way:
Celery? Never heard of the stuff.
Martha's way #6:
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

My way:
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't do it.
============================================= Martha's way #7:
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

My way:
Martha, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache anymore, because you are now BLIND!
Martha's way #8:
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use
in casseroles and sauces.

My way:
Leftover wine? Now that's hilarious!
============================================= Martha's way #9:
If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

My way:
Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.
Martha's way #10:
Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse.
My way:
Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the antibacterial soap in the handy dispenser next to my sink.

#141430 - 01/25/02 05:21 PM Re: martha stewart  
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,364
OMG JANE, LMAO!!! if there is a martha out there i'll eat that salty stained potatoe.

#141431 - 01/25/02 05:22 PM Re: martha stewart  
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 67
Bad Dog Offline
Bad Dog  Offline

Somebody needs to take Martha down on a bone dive and let her redecorate the bottom of the Blue Hole!!! Get my drift.... no pun intented.....


The Original Bad Dog
#141432 - 01/25/02 05:27 PM Re: martha stewart  

ladies & gentlemen, i have a million of 'em:
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied.
"We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
A couple of months ago. I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the
belt close to mine. I picked up one of those
"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me "Do you know how much this is?" and I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today." She said, "OK," and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened..... MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this
remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just
this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I lied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost
out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a
large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing look like a scene
out of a twister movie. I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver
had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

#141433 - 01/25/02 05:56 PM Re: martha stewart  
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 100
jkdiver Offline
jkdiver  Offline



#141434 - 01/25/02 08:53 PM Re: martha stewart  

can't take the credit, i just pass 'em on.

#141435 - 01/26/02 01:07 AM Re: martha stewart  
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 2,090
Debbie Offline
Debbie  Offline
They ARE cute, Jane. Thanks. I have to say though.... Mark and I lived in Oklahoma for about six months.... While checking out at the supermarket, the girl scanned my brown yard eggs. She was so sweet and even said she would check them for cracks and broken ones. She opened the box and sucked in her breath. "Oh my gosh!!! You don't want these. They're all rotton". And promptly dropped them into the trash can. I was stunned and asked how she could tell. She said , "Well they're all brown". Girl had never seen brown eggs. True story. I didn't have the heart to tell her. I just took the white eggs she had the sacker bring for me, and went home. Still shaking my head.

#141436 - 01/27/02 10:34 PM Re: martha stewart  
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 55
divein Offline
divein  Offline
Did you ever see a McDonalds cashier try to total an order and make change when the electricity was out ??????

#141437 - 02/01/02 11:52 AM Re: martha stewart  
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,364
YUK i refuse to eat mcdonalds when the electricity is on.

#141438 - 02/01/02 10:45 PM Re: martha stewart  
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 14
Belizeagain Offline
Belizeagain  Offline
I thought you had to use exact change at McDonalds! Wow I learn something on this board everytime!

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