> You live in California when . . .
> 1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
> 2. The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
> 3. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
> 4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
> 5. You drive to your neighborhood block party.
> 6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it
> will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
> You live in New York when . . .
> 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
> 2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State
> 3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus
> Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
> 4. You think Central Park is "Nature."
> 5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language
> makes you multi-lingual.
> 6. You've worn out a car horn.
> 7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
> You live in Alaska when . . .
> 1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
> 2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
> 3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
> 4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with fewer than eight buttons.
> 5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and
> You live in the Deep South when . . .
> 1. You get a movie and bait in the same store.
> 2."ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural.
> 3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?"
> 4."He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
> 5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean.
> You live in Colorado when . . .
> 1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
> 2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops
> at the day care center.
> 3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
> 4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
> You live in the Midwest when . . .
> 1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
> 2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
> 3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
> 4.You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
> 5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was
> You live in Florida when...
> 1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
> 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind--even houses and cars.
> 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
> 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
> 5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.