THE IRISH WAR WITH SADDAM;
Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when hie telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Saddam !" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy, down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you That we are officially declaring war on you!" "Well,Paddy" Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news" How big is your army?" "Right now," said Paddy, after a moments calculation, "there is, myself, my cousin Sean, my next dooe neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
" Begorra!", said Paddy "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called him again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked. "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
Saddam sighed,"I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks,and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/5 million since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on!" We have managed to get us some airborne! We've modified Harrigans ultra-lite with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a moment and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 1,000 bombers and 2,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface to air missiles. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back.
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day."Top o' the mornin', Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have decided to call off the war." "I"M sorry to hear that, why the sudden change of heart.?" "Well," said Paddy," we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided theres no fooking way we can feed two million prisoners."