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For all you avid scuba divers out there #148115
02/07/03 11:06 AM
02/07/03 11:06 AM
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 761
CAPTAIN bigzeke Offline OP
CAPTAIN bigzeke  Offline OP
> Subject: Do you love your job? confused
> >
> > This will make you feel better about your job!
> Next time you have a bad
> >
> > Day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a
> commercial saturation diver
> >
> > For Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs
> underwater repairs on
> >
> > Offshore drilling rigs. Below is an e-mail he sent
> to his sister. She
> >
> > Then sent it to The X, 103.2 on your FM dial in
> Ft. Wayne IN, who was?
> >
> > Sponsoring a "worst job experience "contest.
> Needless to say, she won.
> >
> >
> >
> > Hi Sue,
> >
> > Just another note from your bottom-dwelling
> brother. Last week I had a
> >
> > Bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
> down lately at work,
> >
> > So I thought I would share my dilemma with you to
> make you realize it's
> >
> > Not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what
> happened to me, I first
> >
> > Must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
> >
> > As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the
> sea. I wear a suit to
> >
> > The office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the
> water is quite cool.
> >
> > So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a
> diesel-powered industrial
> >
> > Water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment
> sucks the water out of the
> >
> > Sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It
> then pumps it down to
> >
> > The diver through a garden hose, which is taped to
> the air hose. Now,
> >
> > This sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used
> it several times with
> >
> > No complaints.
> >
> > What I do, when I get to the bottom and start
> working, is take the hose
> >
> > and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This
> floods my whole suit
> >
> > With warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
> Everything was going
> >
> > Well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
> itch. So, of course, I
> >
> > Scratched it. This only made things worse. Within
> a few seconds my butt
> >
> > Started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my
> back, but the damage was
> >
> > Done. In agony I realized what had happened. The
> hot water machine had
> >
> > Sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
> Now, since I don't
> >
> > Have any hair on my back; the jellyfish couldn't
> stick to it. However,
> >
> > The crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I
> scratched what I
> >
> > Thought was an itch; I was actually grinding the
> jellyfish into my butt.
> >
> > I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over
> the communicator. His
> >
> > Instructions were unclear due to the fact that he,
> along with 5 other
> >
> > Divers, were all laughing hysterically? Needless
> to say, I aborted the
> >
> > Dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing
> in-water decompression stops
> >
> > Totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the
> surface to begin my chamber
> >
> > Dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface,
> I was wearing nothing
> >
> > But my brass helmet.
> >
> > As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with
> tears of laughter running
> >
> > Down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told
> me to rub it on my
> >
> > Butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream
> put the fire out, but I
> >
> > Couldn't poop for 2 days because my ass hole was
> swollen shut. So, next
> >
> > Time you're having a bad day at work, think about
> how much worse it
> >
> > Would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your
> ass. Now repeat to you,
> >
> > "I love my job, I Love my job, I love my job...
> >

There is only one cure for baldness. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
Re: For all you avid scuba divers out there #148116
02/07/03 11:43 AM
02/07/03 11:43 AM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,364
that is a very funny story zeke! smile
i am so glad that the hazards involved with being an accountant don't usually swell your butt hole shut!!! eek eek eek

Re: For all you avid scuba divers out there #148117
02/07/03 10:05 PM
02/07/03 10:05 PM
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,205
Falls Church VA
Axeman Offline
Axeman  Offline
OMG...this is by far the funniest dive story I've heard in years...
Now thats haveing a bad day at the office...

Life May Be a Beach...I prefer Reefs...
Re: For all you avid scuba divers out there #148118
02/09/03 08:40 PM
02/09/03 08:40 PM
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 190
sarahsmile Offline
sarahsmile  Offline
OMG thats soo funny. thats kinda like the medic who tried to take the cap off of a needle on a syringe filled with lidocane, with his teeth. Just as he got the cap off, the driver hit a bump and the medic's hand recoiled as he then jabbed himself in the lip, numbing the entire right side of his face for hours! :rolleyes: laugh

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