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Remember Hollywood Squares? #149974
03/13/03 02:34 PM
03/13/03 02:34 PM
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 2,675
The Buckeye State, USA
dbdoberman Offline OP
.
dbdoberman  Offline OP
If you recall the old Hollywood Squares, these should make you laugh.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False: A pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he's attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul: Why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley: You've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during
the first year?
A. Of course not - I'm too busy growing strawberries!

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camp.
One is politics; what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on his head, he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the Army.

Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!"
What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body; what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?!

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car; the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet

Re: Remember Hollywood Squares? #149975
03/13/03 06:37 PM
03/13/03 06:37 PM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,057
South Texas
Chloe Offline
.
Chloe  Offline
Chuckles.....good ones, that is how my mind works.


Dare To Deviate
Re: Remember Hollywood Squares? #149976
03/13/03 07:11 PM
03/13/03 07:11 PM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,133
San Jose, CA USA
Gela Offline
.
Gela  Offline
Thanks dbd. This has been a hit at the office today. laugh


Gela's AC Motto: "All Roads Used to Lead to BC's - Now They Lead to Hurricane's!"
Re: Remember Hollywood Squares? #149977
03/13/03 07:22 PM
03/13/03 07:22 PM
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 1,336
oklahoma
T
toad Offline
 
toad  Offline
T
paul lynde rocked

Re: Remember Hollywood Squares? #149978
03/13/03 07:56 PM
03/13/03 07:56 PM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 6,251
NYgal Offline
.
NYgal  Offline
Hey, Thanks.........I needed that. laugh


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