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Texas women
Three men were sitting together bragging about how
they had set their new wives straight on their duties.
The first man had married a woman from Pennsylvania And bragged that he
had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that
needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the
third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed
and put away.

The second man had married a woman from West Virginia. He bragged
that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning,
dishes, and cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any
results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was
clean, the dishes was done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Texas girl. He boasted
that he told her his house was to be cleaned, dishes
washed, the cooking done and laundry washed. And
this was all her responsibility. He said the first day he didn't
see anything and the second day he didn't see anything but by the third
day some of the swelling had gone down so he could see a little out of
his left eye!
Got to love Texas Women!

send them to me Gay, and I will try! :p
thank you for the comic relief, you are a doll.

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one.
Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are
hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a
man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's
nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we
should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of
our days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely,
this must be a sign from God!"
The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My
car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely
God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then
she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the
bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle
and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police....
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

maybe women are deceptive, don't trust them?...

was this one about a texan woman as well? uhhhhh, maybe don't send them my way, let Denny handle the texan women! :p

A desperate man escapes from prison after 15 yrs. He enters a home looking for food, money and such. He discovers a young couple in bed. He grabs the young man and ties him in a chair. He then gets on the bed with the young lady and starts to kiss her neck. He gets up and goes into the bath room. The young man pleds to his wife to cooperate with the intruder, do whatever he asks. He promises that no matter what happens he will still love her. He tells her the intruder is desperate and will kill them both if he doesn't get what he wants. The young lady tells her mate that he wasn't kissing her neck but whispering in her ear. She said he told her he was gay and you look kind of cute, is there any vasoline in the house. Do what he asks. I'll still love you.

HILARIOUS

My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the
other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.
When I'm in a good mood it turns green.

When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond !!!!