Well, it's been quite a week of news for SP, some of the biggest being the big protest march scheduled for tomorrow afternoon.
Tiger Woods is scheduled to lead the Belikin Calendar Girls on a semi-peaceful, possibly topless, parade from the Lions Club down to the dump and back and everyone is encouraged to attend. Take a chicken along to feed the wildlife along the way.
The protest is to galvanize solidarity among roving unions and will be immediately followed by a machete-throwing contest on the beach somewhere near Cholo's...or Crazy Canuck's, depending on where the march finishes up.
In other news, Capt. Jeff's new Pepto-Bistro is scheduled to open right on time, several weeks later than planned. The menu boasts a fruit-skin salad and Barracuda bisque, along with the monster lobster platter. Reservations are always advised. We know we have them.
The government of the week has announced a no-tax initiative for all ex-pat artists and disgruntled political extremists that promises...well, not much. However, it should provide excellent economic impact for the coffee house and internet cafes on the island. Capt. Jeff's will also provide a free salad with every vegan entree ordered by the new island residents.
Paisano Enterprises, LLC, has announced plans to build the world's largest, shallow-water cruise ship pier, tied right at the end of Fido's dock. Once the reef has been dynamited for a mile each side of the location for the new pier, work will begin on cutting down all the trees on AC, lashing them together and pointing them east. All residents are encouraged to plant more trees in anticipation of ongoing expansion of the Paisano project.
Related to the new pier, Ramon's has announced that they will be expanding all of their rooms by approximately one-half square foot each, effectively doubling the capacity of some of their suites.
Barry Bowen announced that he has sold his bottling operations to Miller Brewing Company. They plan to raze the Belikin plant and begin importing Miller Genuine Draft from their plant in Hayville, GA as AC's new brew of choice.
And on a final note, all the restaurants that used to be any good have traded ownership with the lousy ones and the list of "where to eat" should be according adjusted. Antojitos is now closed for breakfast...for all you know.
That's all the news that is news. Kind of.