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26 reasons why men have 2 dogs and not 2 wives: #174426
03/18/05 09:21 AM
03/18/05 09:21 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 79
USA Northern Illinois
lasergod Offline OP
lasergod  Offline OP
I thought the dogs amongst us might enjoy this one:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

5. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

6. A dog's parents never visit.

7. Dogs do not hate their bodies.

8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

9. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.

10. Dogs seldom outlive you.

11. Dogs can't talk.

12. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

13. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

14. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

15. Another man will seldom steal your dog.

16. A dog will not wake yo! u up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

17. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

18. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

19. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.

20. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

21. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.

22. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

23. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.

24. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pick-up truck.

25. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman-Marcus.

And, last but not least:

26. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
Re: 26 reasons why men have 2 dogs and not 2 wives: #174427
03/18/05 09:53 AM
03/18/05 09:53 AM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,364
> >
> > He was sitting quietly reading his paper when his
> > wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head
> > with a rolled up magazine. "Ouch!! What was that for?"
> > he asked.
> >
> > "That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket
> > with the name Mary Lou written on it," she replied.
> >
> > "Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary Lou
> > was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained.
> >
> > "Oh honey, I'm so sorry," she said. "I should have
> > known there was a good explanation."
> >
> > Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV
> > when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this
> > time with an iron skillet, which knocked him out cold.
> >
> > When he came too, he asked, "Now what was that for?"
> >
> > She replied, "Your horse called."
> >
> >

Re: 26 reasons why men have 2 dogs and not 2 wives: #174428
03/18/05 10:19 AM
03/18/05 10:19 AM
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 577
Bayfield Ontario
PattiCake Offline
PattiCake  Offline
Love it!

Re: 26 reasons why men have 2 dogs and not 2 wives: #174429
03/18/05 10:47 AM
03/18/05 10:47 AM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 3,677
Maple Grove, MN USA
Bobber Offline
Bobber  Offline
Reminds me of a true personal story. My wife got in my face one day with a Visa bill, with a couple hundred doller charge to an outfit called "LoveLines". She demanded to know what I had been up to (in much less polite terms). My response was the usual "I have no idea what you are talking about". This is considered to be the standard response, guilty or innocent, so I had to endure the cold shoulder for a month or so. Then one day while I was pulling some clothes out of the dryer, I happened to glance at a tag on one of her sweatsuits, and it read "LoveLines." It came back to me, she had gone to a neighbors sales party and picked up some beautiful sweatsuits for herself and the daughter. I walked up to her with a demeanor similar to her initial confrontation, put the tag up to her face in a similar way and asked if she could explain this. I was hoping for an apology, but all I got was a "Oh, yeah, now I remember". They obviously don't learn apologizing in woman school.

Been there, done that, the washing machine ate the T-shirt
Re: 26 reasons why men have 2 dogs and not 2 wives: #174430
03/18/05 11:05 AM
03/18/05 11:05 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,057
South Texas
Chloe Offline
Chloe  Offline
Bobber you take clothes out of the dryer...amazing.

DOGS are great for women too, I have learned, for the same above reasons..hahaha

another line.......Dogs don't watch Dr. Phil either.

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