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Death Bed Confession #177593
06/06/05 08:06 AM
06/06/05 08:06 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 79
USA Northern Illinois
lasergod Offline OP
lasergod  Offline OP
Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. As she held his fragile hand, her praying roused him from his
slumber; he looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.

"Becky my darling," he whispered. .

"Hush my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk."

He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must confess."

"There's nothing to confess," replied Becky, "Everything's all right, go to sleep."

"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I ... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know, sweetheart," whispered Becky, "let the poison work."
Re: Death Bed Confession #177594
06/06/05 08:19 AM
06/06/05 08:19 AM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 6,251
NYgal Offline
NYgal  Offline
If you ever testified in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this Cop. A defense attorney was
cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender.

Q. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?

A. You see sir, we share the building with the court complex,and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

With that, the courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt
recess was called.. The officer on the stand has been nominated
for this year's "Best comeback" line and we think he'll win.

Sorry Lawyers... smile

Re: Death Bed Confession #177595
06/06/05 10:26 AM
06/06/05 10:26 AM

Cute story, but any attorney who engages in such a completely irrelevant line of questiong as that deserves what he gets - to say nothing of the judge who would let proceedings in his courtroom get that off the mark

Re: Death Bed Confession #177596
06/06/05 10:36 AM
06/06/05 10:36 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 8,868
SP Daily Offline
SP Daily  Offline
It's a JOKE!!!

Re: Death Bed Confession #177597
06/06/05 11:38 AM
06/06/05 11:38 AM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,001
New Jersey/sanpedro
captjeff Offline
captjeff  Offline
you have to love it..

Living The Dream Every Day!
Re: Death Bed Confession #177598
06/06/05 11:47 AM
06/06/05 11:47 AM
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 591
Catatonic Motivator Offline
Catatonic Motivator  Offline
Oh, no. That's a true story. My brother-in-law knew a guy whose sister knew this guy who once worked in a cafe down by the courthouse. He said that he'd heard from a cook on another shift that one of the waitresses was in a stall in the bathroom and overheard a conversation through the wall where this one guy was telling another guy about his cousin (she thought his name was Jimmy) who had a sister-in-law that lived next door to a guy that was in court one day. And he heard it.

I'm pretty sure that's right. :p

* I Go Pogo *
Re: Death Bed Confession #177599
06/06/05 12:03 PM
06/06/05 12:03 PM

Cat mo is precisely correct. I know this because I spoke with my next door neighbor whose neice's boyfriend's mother's sister was called for jury duty and while she was waiting to be called into the courtroom heard two attorneys in the hallway discussing the stupidity of their fellow attorney asking such irrelevant questions . . .

Oh, and Jesse - I know, me too! wink

Re: Death Bed Confession #177600
06/06/05 12:06 PM
06/06/05 12:06 PM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,364
hi cucui,
will you visit texas again any time soon?

Re: Death Bed Confession #177601
06/06/05 12:09 PM
06/06/05 12:09 PM

Hi gay/and or david
no plans now, but I do have a case that may require some depositions there in August, 'cept I think it's in the Austin area. if I do come back can david give me dance lessons????

Re: Death Bed Confession #177602
06/06/05 12:14 PM
06/06/05 12:14 PM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,364
sure thing, they don't call him david patrick swaze for nothing! let us know when you will head this way. davids parents live in the austin area.

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