Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4
Death Bed Confession #177593
06/06/05 08:06 AM
06/06/05 08:06 AM
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 79
USA Northern Illinois
lasergod Offline OP
 
lasergod  Offline OP
Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. As she held his fragile hand, her praying roused him from his
slumber; he looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.

"Becky my darling," he whispered. .

"Hush my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk."

He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must confess."

"There's nothing to confess," replied Becky, "Everything's all right, go to sleep."

"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I ... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"


"I know, sweetheart," whispered Becky, "let the poison work."


reds-place.com
Re: Death Bed Confession #177594
06/06/05 08:19 AM
06/06/05 08:19 AM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 6,251
NYgal Offline
.
NYgal  Offline
If you ever testified in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this Cop. A defense attorney was
cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this:

Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.

Q. Officer, who provided this description?
A. The officer who responded to the scene.

Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender.

Q. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A. Yes sir, with my life.

Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A. Yes sir, we do.

Q. And do you have a locker in that room?
A. Yes sir, I do.

Q. And do you have a lock on your locker?
A. Yes sir.

Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers?



A. You see sir, we share the building with the court complex,and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.

With that, the courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt
recess was called.. The officer on the stand has been nominated
for this year's "Best comeback" line and we think he'll win.

Sorry Lawyers... smile

Re: Death Bed Confession #177595
06/06/05 10:26 AM
06/06/05 10:26 AM

A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
A
Cute story, but any attorney who engages in such a completely irrelevant line of questiong as that deserves what he gets - to say nothing of the judge who would let proceedings in his courtroom get that off the mark

Re: Death Bed Confession #177596
06/06/05 10:36 AM
06/06/05 10:36 AM
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 8,868
S
SP Daily Offline
.
SP Daily  Offline
S
It's a JOKE!!!

Re: Death Bed Confession #177597
06/06/05 11:38 AM
06/06/05 11:38 AM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,001
New Jersey/sanpedro
captjeff Offline
.
captjeff  Offline
you have to love it..


Living The Dream Every Day!
Re: Death Bed Confession #177598
06/06/05 11:47 AM
06/06/05 11:47 AM
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 591
Catatonic Motivator Offline
 
Catatonic Motivator  Offline
Oh, no. That's a true story. My brother-in-law knew a guy whose sister knew this guy who once worked in a cafe down by the courthouse. He said that he'd heard from a cook on another shift that one of the waitresses was in a stall in the bathroom and overheard a conversation through the wall where this one guy was telling another guy about his cousin (she thought his name was Jimmy) who had a sister-in-law that lived next door to a guy that was in court one day. And he heard it.

I'm pretty sure that's right. :p


* I Go Pogo *
Re: Death Bed Confession #177599
06/06/05 12:03 PM
06/06/05 12:03 PM

A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
A
Cat mo is precisely correct. I know this because I spoke with my next door neighbor whose neice's boyfriend's mother's sister was called for jury duty and while she was waiting to be called into the courtroom heard two attorneys in the hallway discussing the stupidity of their fellow attorney asking such irrelevant questions . . .

Oh, and Jesse - I know, me too! wink

Re: Death Bed Confession #177600
06/06/05 12:06 PM
06/06/05 12:06 PM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,364
LAPORTE, TX, USA
GAY AND DAVID Offline
.
GAY AND DAVID  Offline
hi cucui,
will you visit texas again any time soon?

Re: Death Bed Confession #177601
06/06/05 12:09 PM
06/06/05 12:09 PM

A
Anonymous
Unregistered
Anonymous
A
Hi gay/and or david
no plans now, but I do have a case that may require some depositions there in August, 'cept I think it's in the Austin area. if I do come back can david give me dance lessons????

Re: Death Bed Confession #177602
06/06/05 12:14 PM
06/06/05 12:14 PM
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 2,364
LAPORTE, TX, USA
GAY AND DAVID Offline
.
GAY AND DAVID  Offline
sure thing, they don't call him david patrick swaze for nothing! let us know when you will head this way. davids parents live in the austin area.

Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4

Links
Portofino Resort- Now with a new BEACH BAR!!
Click for excellent scuba lessons with Elbert Greer!
Chaa Creek is an award-winning luxury Belize Resort, rated as one of the worlds best Eco Lodges. We are a pioneer in adventure travel to Belize since 1981!

Things to do

News
Daily News
Daily Weather

Classified Ads
BelizeNews.com
San Pedro Sun
Ambergris Today
SP Town Council
Channel 7
Channel 5
Amandala
ReefTV
Love FM
The Reporter
PLUS TV
TV Newscasts
Radio Stations

Click for our
Search thousands of Belizean-only websites

Event Guides
Event Calendar
Specials & Events
Things to Do
SanPedroScoop
iTravel Belize
Paradise Theater
San Pedro Fun Finder
Paradise Guy Event Calendar
Cayo Event Calendar

Blogs
San Pedro Scoop!
Tia Chocolate
Tacogirl
My Beautiful Belize
I-Travel Belize
Belize Adventure
Belize Hub
Romantic Travel
Belize Happy Adventures
Conch Creative
As The Coconuts Drop
More Blogs...
Search thousands of Belizean-only websites
White Sands Dive Shop - 5 Star PADI Dive Facility - Daily diving, SCUBA instruction and Snorkeling
Caribbean Inspired All Natural Condiments & Spice Blends, Over 100 are Gluten Free!
We manage a variety of homes, apartments, condos and commercial properties here on Ambergris Caye. Our minimum lease on ALL properties is six months.
Click for Ian Anderson's Caves Branch, Welcome to a World of Adventure
Lil Alphonse has snorkel equipment to fit anyone as well as Marine Park Tickets and flotation devices to assist those not as experienced.
Coastal Xpress offers a daily scheduled ferry run to most resorts, restaurants and private piers on the island of Anbergris Caye. We also offer  private and charter water taxi service.
May
S M T W T F S
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31
Cayo Espanto
Click for Cayo Espanto, and have your own private island
More Links
Click for exciting and adventurous tours of Belize with Katie Valk!
ShoutChat Box
Who's Online Now
1 registered members (Marty), 44 guests, and 7 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Statistics
Forums44
Topics69,077
Posts475,058
Members19,425
Most Online2,982
Jan 29th, 2019



AmbergrisCaye.com CayeCaulker.org HELP! Visitor Center Goods & Services San Pedro Town
BelizeSearch.com Message Board Lodging Diving Fishing Things to Do History
BelizeNews.com Maps Phonebook Belize Business Directory
BelizeCards.com Picture of the Day

The opinions and views expressed on this board are the subjective opinions of Ambergris Caye Message Board members
and not of the Ambergris Caye Message Board its affiliates, or its employees.

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.1