Two elderly gentlemen were sitting on the porch in rocking chairs passing the time of day. Next door were two elderly ladies that were trying to get their attention. One said to the other "How can we get their attention?"
The other replied "I'll get their attention, watch this."
With that she took her clothes off and ran down the sidewalk past the elderly gentlemen.
"Did you see that" asked one.
"Yeah" replied the other, "It sure needs ironing."
"Darling" says a husband coyly to his wife: "let's swap positions tonight". "What a good idea" she replies, "you stand in front of the ironing board, and I'll sit in front of the TV and fart".
A blonde goes to a doctor and tells that both his ears are
burnt. 'Sit down and tell me how it happened,' said the
'Well, I was ironing my clothes, when I received a call and
instead of picking the phone I picked up the iron and burnt
'But that's one ear what about the other?'
'The jerk called again!'
You might be a redneck if you use your ironing board as a buffet table.
Q: Why do elephants have wrinkles? A: Because they hate ironing.