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#204673 - 11/02/06 04:17 PM What number will you press?  
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 1,770
Nova Offline
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Nova  Offline
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the MotherShip.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up."


It's never too late to have a happy childhood!
#204674 - 11/02/06 04:22 PM Re: What number will you press?  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,200
divingcowgirl Offline
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divingcowgirl  Offline
laugh I think I'll just press them all at once till I get a HUMAN to talk to! Don't you just automation?


Take the road less traveled
#204675 - 11/02/06 04:27 PM Re: What number will you press?  
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,055
Chloe Offline
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Chloe  Offline
3 4 5 and 6


Dare To Deviate
#204676 - 11/02/06 04:30 PM Re: What number will you press?  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,200
divingcowgirl Offline
.
divingcowgirl  Offline
Is this Cloe 1,2,3 or 4 that's posting? laugh


Take the road less traveled
#204677 - 11/02/06 04:32 PM Re: What number will you press?  
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,055
Chloe Offline
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Chloe  Offline
3 spoke
4 said shut up 3
6 said I do not know 3 & 4
5 is asleep


Dare To Deviate
#204678 - 11/02/06 04:33 PM Re: What number will you press?  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,200
divingcowgirl Offline
.
divingcowgirl  Offline
LMAO laugh


Take the road less traveled
#204679 - 11/03/06 09:05 AM Re: What number will you press?  
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 5,255
sweetjane Offline
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sweetjane  Offline
you two make a great comedy team!

needed that today nsn. thx!

#204680 - 11/03/06 09:45 AM Re: What number will you press?  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,200
divingcowgirl Offline
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divingcowgirl  Offline
Bad day SJ? I'm just glad it's Friday and it's not my weekend to work!
Tag, you're it Chloe! (she says running and hiding behind a tree)


Take the road less traveled
#204681 - 11/03/06 09:46 AM Re: What number will you press?  
Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,055
Chloe Offline
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Chloe  Offline
####5, what the heck I left specific instructions that 3 4 6 could not speak whilst 5 slept.


Dare To Deviate
#204682 - 11/03/06 09:47 AM Re: What number will you press?  
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 2,200
divingcowgirl Offline
.
divingcowgirl  Offline
I guess they forgot to read the memo! laugh


Take the road less traveled
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