Na, Na, Na, Say Ney... Goodbye
(John Stewwart)
During a campaign season there are certain people you want to be seen with. For instance, John McCain. Or babies. A baby McCain would be nice too, and for Republicans, a great argument for cloning.
Then you have disgraced former lobbyist Jack Abramoff, a man so toxic he can destroy a campaign with a mere creak of his skin-tight trench coat.
The latest to be "Abramoff-ed" is Bob Ney, the Republican congressman from Ohio who plead guilty to federal charges for accepting thousands of dollars in bribes and is expected be sentenced in January to 27 months in jail. That's right, America: in three months, you won't have Bob Ney to offer kick-backs anymore.
According to the Washington Post, Ney admitted to taking "tens of thousands of dollars worth of trips, sports tickets, campaign contributions, meals and casino chips in exchange for legislation and public statements supporting Abramoff's clients and a Syrian businessman." It's believed Ney figured the tickets and the meals and the poker chips weren't quite damning enough, so why not throw a Syrian businessman into the mix and go down hard with an anti-American twist.
Another recent casualty: Susan Ralston, Karl Rove's executive assistant and one time Abramoff aide who the former lobbyist called his White House "implant." In case you're not familiar with the levels of lobbyist influence in the White House, "Abramoff implant" ranks higher than "Abramoff lip collagen," but is "still" less influential than "Abramoff erection pump."
While she was in Rove's employ, Ralston accepted numerous gifts from Abramoff on her boss's behalf, including numerous tickets to sporting events and in June of 2002, two tickets to an Andrea Bocelli concert. That would make Karl Rove the hippest person ever to attend an Andrea Bocelli concert.
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