I love lawyers. I take money from them for a living.

I think that milkshake in one's lap could well cause hypothermia--actionable, even.

Keep those cases coming!!

CatMo: I can see the facts now - man files suit claiming he spilled his frozen milkshake and sustained frozen balls, now sterile. LOL.

A lot of lawyers out there are slime, no doubt. Sooner or later everybody needs one, and if you get a good one, life is good.

My dad said, many years ago, that "A really great lawyer is one who can get a guilty man freed and an innocent man hung."

Kind of sums it up, in my opinion.

And if a town is too small for one lawyer...two lawyers will THRIVE! :p

I got a good one and life IS great...but her retainer fee is really high!!!!

Wanted to post this after the post from patatjemet (01:10 PM), but it took me all day just to find it...

Annual Stella Awards
Once again, it's time to review the winners of the Annual Stella Awards.

The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

6th place
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles, California, won $74,000 &medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not reenter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the house owners insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th place
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time, as Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500, after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd place
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to crawl through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 &dental expenses.

1st place
This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed & then overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him, by reading the owner's manual, that he actually could not do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

Great reading, Short, and very funny, as long as you know that every one of those cases is fictional and never happened.

http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/lawsuits.html

LMAO, can you imagine me searching for this one the whole day, and it turns out to be a hoax! Well, at least I learned something, and had fun in the process.
Thanks Law

Seems like this thread should now be renamed "THEY WALK AMONG US". Who should be responsible for the medical expenses on this idiot? The fireworks manufacturer for not labeling against this, the JackAss show, or the dummy who stuck them in his rear end?
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LONDON (AFP) - A man was rushed to hospital in Britain with severe internal injuries after trying to launch a powerful firework from his bottom, an ambulance service spokesman said.
It is thought that the 22-year-old could have been trying to imitate a scene from "Jackass: The Movie", a controversial film featuring a series of edgy pranks.

Footage of the incident in Sunderland, north-east England, was captured on a mobile phone by a gang of youths and shows a white flash followed by hysterical laughter and a youth shouting: "Ha ha ha ha," followed by an expletive.

A spokesman for the North East ambulance service said: "We received a call stating there was a male who had a firework in his bottom and it was bleeding."

He is now recovering in a Sunderland hospital after sustaining internal injuries including a scorched colon.

The incident took place on November 5, when Britons light bonfires and let off fireworks to commemorate a 17th century plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament.
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We have a saying here in our little town: You can educate ignorance, but you can't fix STUPID!!! :rolleyes:

Read that in the paper yesterday - what a dumbass!!! (So, who will he sue - the movie producers, the fireworks company - I'm sure there was no warning about sticking them in you butt and lighting them...guess there will be now!)

Exactly, nova. When will people learn that they have to be responsible for their own acts? I don't think there is enuff alcohol in the world for me to do this trick. But, I also would never pour a cup of coffee, even from my home brewer, and put it in a paper cup, and place it between my thighs....nope, not gonna chance hurting myself. But, maybe if I could play it up for a million $$ or so, ..hmmmm, nope, I'd still feel mighty stupid for doing something so dumb.
My husband is in the Elec/HVAC business, and remarked the past few times we've been in AC that the way things work there would NEVER work here in the USA. The outlets don't have GFI's, nor do they have "toddler covers" but yet, there are still kids running around, and people aren't playing with toasters in the bathtub. Hmmm....guess Belizians have a little more common sense than we do. But, they also don't have the law suits going on that we have here. They seem a bit more responsible for their acts. Wonder what the difference is? Education? Common Sense? Lack of Lawyers? Parental guidance? Who knows, but sure seems like a good thing.