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#236257 04/25/07 01:29 PM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 5,563
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Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair.

Take only pictures leave only bubbles
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 5,563
OP Offline
For those who think the UFO matter is a joke . . .
Subject: UFO in New Mexico
Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an
unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and
cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico.
This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by
the U.S. Air Force and the federal government. However, what you may NOT know
is that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic
day, George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfield, Bill O'Reilly, Rush
Limbaugh, Condoleezza Rice, and Dan Quayle were all born. See what
happens when aliens breed with sheep? This piece of information may clear up a
lot of things.

Take only pictures leave only bubbles
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 5,255
thank you, harriette!!! yes, much needed! laugh

Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 4,672
This is nothing to laugh at, but a cool tidbit of info:

At three minutes and four seconds after 2 a.m. on May 6th this year, the time and date will be:

02:03:04 05/06/07

This will never happen again.

Joined: Apr 2000
Posts: 8,868
Every hundred years????

Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 5,255
they said that when it was

01:02:03 04/05/06 too, and most likely will on 03:04:05 06/07/08.

still cool, i guess.

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