After much careful consideration, I have decided that I will forgo my powers of logic and reasoning, an also succumb to cult membership!
It seems to be all the rage these days, and as its apparently much more socially acceptable to follow blindly whatever is presented to me by a well spoken empty suit than it is to question the math and the reasoning behind the presentation.
I'm sure I will be much happier in future.
Having made the decision though, I am now considering the pros and cons of a new cult as opposed to the most popular current offering? I have no Liberal Guilt that needs assuaging, and even though my forefathers were held in slavery, I expect no Reparations, (a new Ferrari from the descendants of the long dead Romans who not only enslaved Britons, but also occupied my country would be a pleasant bonus however)
Apparently, the first rule of leadership is promise anything, but try not to narrow it down too much to anything that could be considered a “specific” promise: how about this?
You will all have lots more of whatever it is you want more of, and the (insert word here) will learn not too take us for granted ever again.....YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH RAAA Raaaa
Followed quickly by:
And never again will you personally have any responsibility for anything.....RRRRaaaaaaahhh!
The crowd is in a frenzy now........time to start recruiting
In selecting the cult guidelines, I can't help but wonder if the rules could be perhaps less Marxist and more, well you know, about me?
Members will be reminded that the #1 requirement is to shower praise, warranted or not, on well you know, Me, and anyone questioning the worthiness of a middle aged fat balding white guy with no political achievements will be branded as sexist, racist, carbo-phobic or follicley biased
I've decided that rather than Tree Huggers, Greenies, Eggheads and especially Members of the Media, I'm limiting membership to females between the age of 18 and 30, and comely young Asian girls, especially those blessed with twin sisters, will be more than welcome to worship at the alter of Pug