I had a near death experience last week when returning to the US
At the duty free shop at Goldson I saw Belikin Premium and of course without any hesitation, asked how much I could bring back?
When I was informed that in addition to a liter of rum, I could also bring a case of premium, my somewhat alcohol influenced brain agreed that this was in fact a good idea without further analytical thought.
When I was handed the case, complete with a Scotch tape handle that could easily have served double duty as a cheese wire, and headed out across the tarmac to the plane, the first stirrings of doubt were surfacing.
As I deplaned at Houston, with a 35lb computer bag full of not only my laptop but also every electrical gadget I own , plus all of my house purchase paperwork on one shoulder and the aforementioned case of Belikin in one hand and my Rum in the other, I began to realize just how far the walk through immigration was going to be: a well balanced 10,000 calorie a day diet is fine for a Tour De France cyclist, but 10,000 calories divided between Beer, Rice, Tortillas and Macaroni and Cheese is perhaps not the best regimen for a middle aged fat guy training for a cross airport dash.
Pretty soon I was resting at each First Aid station, as that seemed to be wise, and when my heart rate slowed to normal, I would make a break for the next Defibrillator.
Suffice to say that when I finally reached baggage claim, the looks I received from both jealous men and admiring women had me planning ahead to the next trip where I would have an empty carry on with wheels and several bungee cords ready as I hit Belize International.
Of course, when I got home and drank one, and then compared it to a Texas brewed Shiner Bock, I realized that I will probably never again bother with such a ridiculous waste of energy