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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 415
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At what age is it determined I am old enough to know better?
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
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A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms. Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'
'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.
Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'
Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 526
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FIND OUT WHO TRULY IS YOUR ROLE MODEL. DON'T SCROLL DOWN YET, DO THE SIMPLE MATH BELOW, THEN SCROLL DOWN TO FIND YOUR HERO.
It's CRAZY how accurate this is!
No peeking!
1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9
2) Multiply by 3 then
3) Add 3
4) Then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator....)
5) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number....
6) Add the digits together (i.e. if your number was 42 you would add 4+2= and get 6) Now Scroll down . . . . . . . . . . . . .
With that number, see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below : 1. Einstein 2. Oprah Winfrey 3. Snoopy (Dogs in Space) 4. Bill Clinton (I never ~~~~) 5. Bill Gates (Microsnot ) 6. Gandhi 7. Ronny Regan 8. Babe Ruth 9. VT-CDN 10. Bob Square-Bob
P.S. Stop picking different numbers!! I AM YOUR IDOL, JUST DEAL WITH IT!!!!!
a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 526
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sunandsand Facebook link is for faceless folks only !!! Post your laundry for everyone to read
a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,046
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This story is in the context of recent developments in Sweden.
Two boys grew up together at school and were good friends. But they were very different. The one was absolutely brilliant at everything he did, and whilst still at high school worked out a way to use nuclear fusion to generate usable energy. For this discovery he was awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics, the first time it had ever been awarded to someone so young.
The other boy was very good at sports and physical things but although he was rather lacking in intellectual achievement he had great albeit unfounded and frustrated ambition. He left high school with no qualifications whatsoever.
The two boys drifted apart as their lives took them in completely different directions. But many years later they met up again. The brilliant boy had gone on to direct one of the nation's top scientific research establishments. His erstwhile friend was now the government minister telling him what to do.
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Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 5,563
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Miss Beatrice, The church organist, was in her eighties And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness And kindness to all.. One afternoon the pastor Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, The young minister Noticed a cute glass bowl Sitting on top of it.
The bowl was filled With water, And in the water Floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned With tea and scones, They began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. 'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through The Park a few months ago And I found this little package On the ground. The directions said To place it on the organ, Keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu All winter.'
Harriette Take only pictures leave only bubbles
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 13,675
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
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Little Johnny is not an Obama fan A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were obama fans. Not really knowing what an obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again. Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an obama fan." The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of obama?" Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican." The teacher asked him why he's a Republican. Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican." Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom were a moron and your dad were an idiot, what would that make you?" With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, "That would make me an obama fan.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 225
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How I learned to mind my own business!
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, And all the patients were shouting, '13....13....13.' The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a Little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see What was going on..... Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick! Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'...
"All people smile in the same language"
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 9
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So Boudreaux asks Thibodaux: "Why dem Scuba divers always fall backways off dem boats?" To which Thibodaux replies: "You dumb Coo-nass - If dey fell forwards dey'd still be in de' boat."
Reality is a nasty side effect of Sobriety.
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