Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 166 of 370 1 2 164 165 166 167 168 369 370
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: azbob] #353547
10/06/09 05:55 AM
10/06/09 05:55 AM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 415
sunandsand Offline
sunandsand  Offline

At what age is it determined I am old enough to know better?
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: sunandsand] #353842
10/07/09 09:34 AM
10/07/09 09:34 AM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
Coeur d'Alene Idaho, USA
champion Offline
champion  Offline

A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms. Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.

'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'

'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'

'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.

Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'

Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: azbob] #353974
10/07/09 09:03 PM
10/07/09 09:03 PM
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 526
Wet Coast of Canada, On an isl...
VT-CDN Offline
VT-CDN  Offline

It's CRAZY how accurate this is!

No peeking!

1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9

2) Multiply by 3 then

3) Add 3

4) Then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator....)

5) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number....

6) Add the digits together (i.e. if your number was 42 you would add 4+2=
and get 6)

Now Scroll down

With that number, see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below :
1. Einstein
2. Oprah Winfrey
3. Snoopy (Dogs in Space)
4. Bill Clinton (I never ~~~~)
5. Bill Gates (Microsnot )
6. Gandhi
7. Ronny Regan
8. Babe Ruth
10. Bob Square-Bob

P.S. Stop picking different numbers!!

a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: VT-CDN] #353975
10/07/09 09:05 PM
10/07/09 09:05 PM
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 526
Wet Coast of Canada, On an isl...
VT-CDN Offline
VT-CDN  Offline
sunandsand Facebook link is for faceless folks only !!!

Post your laundry for everyone to read wink

a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: VT-CDN] #354168
10/09/09 11:59 AM
10/09/09 11:59 AM
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 3,046
Peter Jones Offline
Peter Jones  Offline
This story is in the context of recent developments in Sweden.

Two boys grew up together at school and were good friends. But they were very different. The one was absolutely brilliant at everything he did, and whilst still at high school worked out a way to use nuclear fusion to generate usable energy. For this discovery he was awarded the Nobel Prize for Physics, the first time it had ever been awarded to someone so young.

The other boy was very good at sports and physical things but although he was rather lacking in intellectual achievement he had great albeit unfounded and frustrated ambition. He left high school with no qualifications whatsoever.

The two boys drifted apart as their lives took them in completely different directions. But many years later they met up again. The brilliant boy had gone on to direct one of the nation's top scientific research establishments. His erstwhile friend was now the government minister telling him what to do.

Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Peter Jones] #354338
10/11/09 05:07 PM
10/11/09 05:07 PM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 5,546
Birdland - 1 mile north
ScubaLdy Offline
ScubaLdy  Offline

Miss Beatrice, The church organist, was in her eighties
And had never been married.
She was admired for her sweetness And kindness to all.. One afternoon the pastor Came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, The young minister Noticed a cute glass bowl Sitting on top of it.

The bowl was filled With water, And in the water Floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned With tea and scones, They began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity About the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. 'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through The Park a few months ago And I found this little package On the ground. The directions said To place it on the organ, Keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu All winter.'

Take only pictures leave only bubbles
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Anonymous] #354457
10/13/09 09:45 AM
10/13/09 09:45 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 13,044
San Pedro Belize
elbert Offline
elbert  Offline
A new slant on the Blues.
have a good day

White Sands Dive Shops Daily Blog
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: elbert] #354458
10/13/09 09:54 AM
10/13/09 09:54 AM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
Coeur d'Alene Idaho, USA
champion Offline
champion  Offline
Little Johnny is not an Obama fan
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were obama fans.
Not really knowing what an obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again.

Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an obama fan."

The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of obama?" Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican."

The teacher asked him why he's a Republican. Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican, so I'm a Republican."

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom were a moron and your dad were an idiot, what would that make you?"

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, "That would make me an obama fan.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: champion] #354538
10/13/09 11:31 PM
10/13/09 11:31 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 225
North Dakota
Shopgirl Offline
Shopgirl  Offline
How I learned to mind my own business!

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,
And all the patients were shouting, '13....13....13.'

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a
Little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see
What was going on.....

Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick!

Then they all started shouting '14....14....14'...

"All people smile in the same language"
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Shopgirl] #354586
10/14/09 12:02 PM
10/14/09 12:02 PM
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 9
Al Qayyarah, Iraq
INFIDEL  Offline
So Boudreaux asks Thibodaux: "Why dem Scuba divers always fall backways off dem boats?"

To which Thibodaux replies: "You dumb Coo-nass - If dey fell forwards dey'd still be in de' boat."

Reality is a nasty side effect of Sobriety.
Page 166 of 370 1 2 164 165 166 167 168 369 370

Portofino Resort- Now with a new BEACH BAR!!
Click for excellent scuba lessons with Elbert Greer!
Chaa Creek is an award-winning luxury Belize Resort, rated as one of the worlds best Eco Lodges. We are a pioneer in adventure travel to Belize since 1981!
Maruba Beach Klub and Spa is the premiere Secret Beach spa and restaurant located on the crystal blue waters of the Caribbean Sea at the center of Secret Beach, Belize
First Class Accommodations for the Budget Traveler
First Class Accommodations for the Budget Traveler

Things to do

Daily News
Daily Weather

Classified Ads
San Pedro Sun
Ambergris Today
SP Town Council
Channel 7
Channel 5
Love FM
The Reporter
TV Newscasts
Radio Stations

Click for our
Search thousands of Belizean-only websites

Event Guides
Event Calendar
Specials & Events
Things to Do
iTravel Belize
Paradise Theater
San Pedro Fun Finder
Paradise Guy Event Calendar
Cayo Event Calendar

San Pedro Scoop!
Tia Chocolate
My Beautiful Belize
I-Travel Belize
Belize Adventure
Belize Hub
Romantic Travel
Belize Happy Adventures
Conch Creative
Caribbean Culture & Lifestyle
More Blogs...
Search thousands of Belizean-only websites
White Sands Dive Shop - 5 Star PADI Dive Facility - Daily diving, SCUBA instruction and Snorkeling
Caribbean Inspired All Natural Condiments & Spice Blends, Over 100 are Gluten Free!
We manage a variety of homes, apartments, condos and commercial properties here on Ambergris Caye. Our minimum lease on ALL properties is six months.
Click for Ian Anderson's Caves Branch, Welcome to a World of Adventure
Lil Alphonse has snorkel equipment to fit anyone as well as Marine Park Tickets and flotation devices to assist those not as experienced.
Coastal Xpress offers a daily scheduled ferry run to most resorts, restaurants and private piers on the island of Anbergris Caye. We also offer  private and charter water taxi service.
1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
Cayo Espanto
Click for Cayo Espanto, and have your own private island
More Links
Click for exciting and adventurous tours of Belize with Katie Valk!
ShoutChat Box
Who's Online Now
0 registered members (), 359 guests, and 0 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Statistics
Most Online4,377
Dec 15th, 2020 HELP! Visitor Center Goods & Services San Pedro Town Message Board Lodging Diving Fishing Things to Do History Maps Phonebook Belize Business Directory Picture of the Day

The opinions and views expressed on this board are the subjective opinions of Ambergris Caye Message Board members
and not of the Ambergris Caye Message Board its affiliates, or its employees.

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.1