I didnít knew it would have affected my life,
I was young and didnít know they were taking advantage of me.
I taught they really cared for me,
I taught they loved me so much,
But I was fooled by their twisted lies.
They held me so close, I felt secure,
I was sure they would never hurt me.
I knew it wasnít normal for my babysitter to caress me that way,
I knew it wasnít normal to kiss my cousin that way,
I knew it wasnít okay for my step-uncle to
Rub me gently down there.
I knew it wasnít normal for my step-father to fondle me
While my mother was away,
But what could I have done?
I was a little girl,
I didnít have the knowledge to understand,
That they were using my body.
But itís not my fault I taught I enjoyed it,
Itís not my fault that I believed their lies,
Itís not my fault I taught it was love,
And itís not my fault that I am confused about myself.
As I remember the dark hidden secret,
I did struggle to accept the past,
My tears falling on the pillows,
Wondering if I can survive.
The pain is invisible,
All you see is a woman going about her ordinary day,
Talking to neighbors and taking herself to school.
I was suffering,
I couldnít handle the suffocation and was crying out for help,
But no one listened to my sorrows.
I met a guy, who became my lover,
And he is my main supporter.
I began my own therapy and its making me stronger,
Meeting and talking to women who have the same issues as me
I know now that I am not alone
I am so happy I am able to help others as they help me
Dealing with the effects of sexual abuse
I now conquer the world that we live in
But day by day I struggle with my hidden secrets.