Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your
captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York.

The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and.........OH... MY GOD!"

Silence followed.

Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Im sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a
flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled.......

."For the luvva Jaysus......you should see the back of mine!"

Ain't this the truth. JMO




Subject:Flight Attendant Pickup Lines


A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful young woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.
He decides that because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty Flight Attendant.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto, “To fly, to serve”?

The young woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto. “Winning the hearts of the world”?

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred he tries again this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto. “Going beyond expectations”?

The woman looks at him sternly and says, “What the [#%!] do you want”?

“Aha”, he says,.................. "Delta Airlines".

Yes, that fits perfectly. Continental flight attendants were super friendly. When Delta took over I could have sworn they told the flight attendants that if they wanted to keep their jobs they had to become "Witches of the sky"!!

Continental was the best!!

Not to get technical.... according to chemistery, Alcohol is a solution!

Champion - yes it is - until it becomes the problem.

I agree Harriette, but it's smiles for the day.

Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers, now they drink like their fathers!

No..I have not been trying this since 2007...I was looking for an old post and found this!

If you start your "6" in the middle left and work clockwise to the top, your foot will carry on going clockwise...
Like many things in life,where you start determines how you finish

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.
He throws the kite up in the air, the wind Catches it for a few seconds, and then it comes crashing back down to earth.
He tries this a few more times with no success.
All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband,
"You need a piece of tail."
The man turns with a confused look on his face and says,
"Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."