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Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Amanda Syme] #482215
01/08/14 08:01 AM
01/08/14 08:01 AM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
Coeur d'Alene Idaho, USA
champion Offline
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champion  Offline
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your
captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to New York.

The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So, sit back, relax, and.........OH... MY GOD!"

Silence followed.

Some moments later, the captain came back on the intercom. "Ladies and Gentlemen, Im sorry if I scared you. While I was talking to you, a
flight attendant accidentally spilled coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

From the back of the plane, an Irish passenger yelled.......

."For the luvva Jaysus......you should see the back of mine!"



Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Amanda Syme] #482226
01/08/14 09:36 AM
01/08/14 09:36 AM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
Coeur d'Alene Idaho, USA
champion Offline
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champion  Offline
Ain't this the truth. JMO




Subject:Flight Attendant Pickup Lines


A man is alone in an airport lounge. A beautiful young woman walks in and sits down at the table next to him.
He decides that because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty Flight Attendant.
So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto, “To fly, to serve”?

The young woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.
He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto. “Winning the hearts of the world”?

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.
Undeterred he tries again this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto. “Going beyond expectations”?

The woman looks at him sternly and says, “What the [#%!] do you want”?

“Aha”, he says,.................. "Delta Airlines".




Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: champion] #482232
01/08/14 09:47 AM
01/08/14 09:47 AM
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,018
Sequim, WA & San Pedro
Loansum-Al K Offline
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Loansum-Al K  Offline
Yes, that fits perfectly. Continental flight attendants were super friendly. When Delta took over I could have sworn they told the flight attendants that if they wanted to keep their jobs they had to become "Witches of the sky"!!


I'm happier than a pig in s__t...a foot on the sand...and a Belikin in my hand!
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Loansum-Al K] #482234
01/08/14 09:57 AM
01/08/14 09:57 AM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
Coeur d'Alene Idaho, USA
champion Offline
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champion  Offline
Originally Posted by Loansum-Al K
Yes, that fits perfectly. Continental flight attendants were super friendly. When Delta took over I could have sworn they told the flight attendants that if they wanted to keep their jobs they had to become "Witches of the sky"!!


Continental was the best!!


Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Amanda Syme] #482377
01/09/14 02:06 PM
01/09/14 02:06 PM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
Coeur d'Alene Idaho, USA
champion Offline
.
champion  Offline
Not to get technical.... according to chemistery, Alcohol is a solution!


Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Amanda Syme] #482385
01/09/14 03:44 PM
01/09/14 03:44 PM
Joined: Nov 2000
Posts: 5,546
Birdland - 1 mile north
ScubaLdy Offline
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ScubaLdy  Offline
Champion - yes it is - until it becomes the problem.


Harriette
Take only pictures leave only bubbles
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: ScubaLdy] #482522
01/10/14 02:29 PM
01/10/14 02:29 PM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
Coeur d'Alene Idaho, USA
champion Offline
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champion  Offline
Originally Posted by ScubaLdy
Champion - yes it is - until it becomes the problem.

I agree Harriette, but it's smiles for the day.


Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Amanda Syme] #482523
01/10/14 02:32 PM
01/10/14 02:32 PM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,972
Coeur d'Alene Idaho, USA
champion Offline
.
champion  Offline
Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers, now they drink like their fathers!


Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Hon] #483110
01/15/14 02:57 PM
01/15/14 02:57 PM
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,157
Plano,Tx
pugwash Offline

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pugwash  Offline
Originally Posted by Hon
Try this:

1. Without anyone watching you (others will think you are goofy) and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. While circling your foot, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction.

...and there's nothing you can do about it!

Of course I know how stupid it is but before the day is done you are going to try it again...if you've not already done so. grin



No..I have not been trying this since 2007...I was looking for an old post and found this!

If you start your "6" in the middle left and work clockwise to the top, your foot will carry on going clockwise...
Like many things in life,where you start determines how you finish smile


It's rarely rocket science, it's usually just math: then again if you can't do the math.......
Re: Smiles for the day [Re: Amanda Syme] #483362
01/17/14 11:41 PM
01/17/14 11:41 PM
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 526
Wet Coast of Canada, On an isl...
VT-CDN Offline
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VT-CDN  Offline
A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.
He throws the kite up in the air, the wind Catches it for a few seconds, and then it comes crashing back down to earth.
He tries this a few more times with no success.
All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window,
Muttering to herself how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband,
"You need a piece of tail."
The man turns with a confused look on his face and says,
"Make up your mind. Last night, you told me to go fly a kite."


a lethal combination of smart dairyair and dumb dairyair .
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