Janie Baby..I never said I made these up but - 01/10/01 02:29 AM
when I do read Playboy I ONLY read the articles for I would never dream of looking at those pictures. I have a daughter you know!
>> HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
>> > >
>> > >1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
>to
>> lights and darks.
>> > >
>> > >2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband
>> along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
>> > >
>> > >3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror--make mental note ---
>must
>> do more sit-ups.
>> > >
>> > >4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
>loofah,
>> wide loofah, and pumice stone.
>> > >
>> 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added
>vitamins.
>> > >
>> > >6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
>> > >
>> 7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with
>natural
>> avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
>> > >
>> 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until
>red.
>> > >
>> > >9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
>> > >
>> 10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come
>off).
>> > >
>> > >11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to
>get
>> it waxed instead.
>> > >
>> 12. Scream loudly when your husband flushed the toilet and you lose the
>water
>> pressure.
>> > >
>> > >13. Turn off shower.
>> > >
>> > >14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
>Tilex.
>> > >
>> > >15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap
>> hair in super absorbent second towel.
>> > >
>> > >16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.
>> > >
>> 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
>> > >
>> 18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and
>> then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
>> >
>> > >HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
>> > >
>> 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
>a
>> pile.
>> > >
>> 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake
>your
>> wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
>> > >
>> 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see
>if
>> you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and
>scratch
>> your ass.
>> > >
>> > >4. Get in the shower.
>> > >
>> > >5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
>> > >
>> > >6. Wash your face.
>> > >
>> > >7. Wash your armpits.
>> > >
>> > >8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.
>> > >
>> > >9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
>> > >
>> > >10. Majority of time is spent washing privates and surrounding area.
>> > >
>> > >11. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.
>> > >
>> > >12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
>> > >
>> > >13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
>> > >
>> > >14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.
>> > >
>> > >15. Pee (in the shower).
>> > >
>> 16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor
>> because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
>> > >
>> > >17. Partially dry off.
>> > >
>> > >18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size
>again.
>> > >
>> > >19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
>> > >
>> > >20. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
>> > >
>> 21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your
>> wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo"
>sound
>> again.
>> > >
>> > >22. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed
>> HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
>> > >
>> > >1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
>to
>> lights and darks.
>> > >
>> > >2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband
>> along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
>> > >
>> > >3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror--make mental note ---
>must
>> do more sit-ups.
>> > >
>> > >4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
>loofah,
>> wide loofah, and pumice stone.
>> > >
>> 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added
>vitamins.
>> > >
>> > >6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
>> > >
>> 7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with
>natural
>> avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
>> > >
>> 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until
>red.
>> > >
>> > >9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
>> > >
>> 10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come
>off).
>> > >
>> > >11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to
>get
>> it waxed instead.
>> > >
>> 12. Scream loudly when your husband flushed the toilet and you lose the
>water
>> pressure.
>> > >
>> > >13. Turn off shower.
>> > >
>> > >14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
>Tilex.
>> > >
>> > >15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap
>> hair in super absorbent second towel.
>> > >
>> > >16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.
>> > >
>> 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
>> > >
>> 18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and
>> then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
>> >
>> > >HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
>> > >
>> 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
>a
>> pile.
>> > >
>> 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake
>your
>> wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
>> > >
>> 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see
>if
>> you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and
>scratch
>> your ass.
>> > >
>> > >4. Get in the shower.
>> > >
>> > >5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
>> > >
>> > >6. Wash your face.
>> > >
>> > >7. Wash your armpits.
>> > >
>> > >8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.
>> > >
>> > >9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
>> > >
>> > >10. Majority of time is spent washing privates and surrounding area.
>> > >
>> > >11. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.
>> > >
>> > >12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner).
>> > >
>> > >13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
>> > >
>> > >14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.
>> > >
>> > >15. Pee (in the shower).
>> > >
>> 16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor
>> because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
>> > >
>> > >17. Partially dry off.
>> > >
>> > >18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size
>again.
>> > >
>> > >19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
>> > >
>> > >20. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
>> > >
>> 21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your
>> wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo"
>sound
>> again.
>> > >
>> > >22. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed