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Hey Zekester......

Posted By: diann

Hey Zekester...... - 04/20/01 07:41 PM

where da heck is ya mon?!?!? i worked so very HARD on dat post baby.. and ya dizzappeared on me!!!
Posted By: Debbie

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/20/01 09:48 PM

Really Zeke!!!!
You sick or something????
Debbie
Posted By: Sunkissed

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/20/01 10:55 PM

Gals, Maybe his feeling (not plural on purpose) got hurt. He might feel as if his girls are flirting with to many other guys and feeling left out. Watcha' think? lol
Posted By: CAPTAIN bigzeke

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/21/01 01:36 AM

diann....I'm like a bad ass toothache I never go away. Try this one out!

THE PENIS LIST

The Nuprin Penis: Little, Yellow, Different.
The Equal Penis: Tastes like Sugar.
The Excedrin Penis: It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.
The Sprite Penis: Image is nothing...Taste is everything.
The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you.
The Alka Seltzer Penis: Pop, pop, fizz, fizz...Oh, what a
relief it is..
The Magnavox Penis: Smart. Very Smart.
The American Express Penis: Don't leave home without it.
The Pringles Penis: Once you pop, you can't stop
The MandM Penis: Melts in your mouth, not in your hand
The Frosted Flakes Penis: GGGRRRREEEEAAAAATTT!
The Lucky Charms Penis: Magically delicious
The Energizer Penis: It keeps going and going
The Right Guard Penis: Anything less is uncivilized
The Jolly Green *Giant* Penis: Self-explanatory
The Campbells Soup Penis: Mmm mmm good
The Purple Pickle Penis: Heh heh
The Kix Penis: Kid tested, mother approved.
The Tombstone Penis: What would you like on your Penis?
The Ragu Penis: Comes out chunkier than the rest.
The Chips Ahoy Penis: Betcha bite a chip.
The Purdue Penis: More meat, less bone.
The All State Penis: You're in good hands.
The 7-Up Penis: The UN-Penis.
The Nike Penis: Just do it.
The Barq's Penis: The one with bite.
The Beef Penis: It's what's for dinner.
The Bud Lite Penis: Great taste, less filling.
The Subway Penis: Where fresh is the taste.
The Kentucky Fried Chicken Penis: Finger licking good?
The Life Penis: Mikey likes it.
The Transformers Penis: It's more than meets the eye.
The Twizzler Penis: It makes mouths happy.
The Nintendo Penis: Now you're playing with power.
The Robitussin Penis: Used by nine out of ten moms.
The Crest Penis: Recommended by 3 out of 4 dentists.
The Champion Penis: The official Penis of the U.S.A.
Olympic Team.
The Starburst Penis: The juice is loose.
The Toyota Penis: I love what you do for me.
The Citibank Visa Penis: It's everywhere you want to be.
The Timex Penis: Takes a lickin and keeps on....
The Burger King Penis: Have it your way...everyone loves
The whopper
The Dairy Queen Penis: Hot eats, cool treats
The Milk Penis: It does a body good.
The Flintstone's Vitamins Penis: 10 million strong and
growing
The Wendy's Penis: Where's the beef?
The Captain Planet Penis: Go PENIS!!
The Folger's Crystals Penis: The best part of wakin up
is a Penis in your
The Lays Penis: Betcha can't eat just one.
The Mr. Clean Penis: Is it wet or is it dry?
The Diet Coke Penis: Just for The taste of it...
The Doublemint Penis: Chewing really satisfies.
The Juicyfruit Penis: The taste is gonna move ya.
The Big Red Penis: It's longer with big red.
The Neon Penis: Hi.
The Generic Penis: One size fits all.
The Rave Music Penis: Ya'll ready for this?
The Mortal Kombat Penis: Nothing can prepare you.
The Bounty Penis: The quicker picker-upper.
The Pizza Hut Penis: Makin' it great. Again and Again.
The Bounce Penis: With Static-Guard!
The Domino's Pizza Penis: 30 minutes or less [Linked Image]
The Extra Penis: Lasts an extra extra extra long time
The Wonder Bubbles Penis: Magic wand inside!
The Gillette Penis: The best a man can get.
The Charmin Double Roll Penis: It lasts longer because
it IS longer.
The Bacardi Penis: Taste The feeling.
The Macintosh Penis: Power is everything.
The Borg Penis: Resistance is futile.
The Edge Shaving Cream Penis: Ultimate closeness,
ultimate comfort.
The Beatles Penis: Now a quarter smaller than it used
to be.
The Oasis Penis: Thinks it's The Beatles Penis.
The Jell-O Penis: Look at it wiggle, look at it
jiggle.
The Secret Penis: Strong enough for a man, ph-balanced
for a woman.
The Micro Machines Penis: A whole world, in the palm of
your hand.
The Sanka Penis: Get that good to the last drop feeling.
The Swiss Miss Penis: The taste you can enjoy anytime,
anywhere!
The Payday Penis: It's almost totally nuts!
The Unisys Penis The power of two...
The Snickers Penis: A nut in every bite
The Presidential Penis: Been there, done that
The Yellow Pages Penis: Let your fingers do the walkin.
The Sony Play Station Penis: You are not ready.
The Life Savers Penis: Five fruity flavors.
The Trojan Penis: Don't forget your rubbers
The McDonald's Penis: Would you like some fries with that.
The Nyquil Penis: The nighttime coughing, sneezing,
runny-nose, itching, burning, so you can't rest Penis.
Posted By: CAPTAIN bigzeke

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/21/01 01:39 AM

Needless to say the Zekester is the:

The Charmin Double Roll Penis: It lasts longer because
it IS longer. [Linked Image]

Now see what you've done...you made me blush!
Posted By: Punta Rebel Girl

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/21/01 01:45 AM

All I can say is "Oh My God!!!!!" That is way too much. Some many penises, so little time.
Punta Rebel Girl
Posted By: B_b_f_b

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/21/01 01:51 AM

My favorite was the American Express Penis, except I'd change it a bit, don't leave home with it, that's the way I like to keep my men, barefoot and at home, hee, hee.
Posted By: diann

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/21/01 02:00 AM

Sheesh... Charmin of da Board....now how am i posed to TOP dis one?!?!?!?!!
no wunder youse been 'off'.... i can see now why it's taken youse 8 days to reply....you were just too busy COMING up wit dese here idears... what, 11 a day?!?!?! but i gotta hang wit dat Punta chick on da attitood bout so many, so little. only i can't hang wit her on da way too much thingy; don't ever recall saying dat to a guy..... OUCH!!! i know, i know... i'm outta here!! but if'n Marty hasn't booted your paper rollin butt, den i should be OK....and as my motto goes... see da Unisys one.... BTW....what am i posed to try out????????

HAHAHAHAHHHHAA Amen Sunkissed!!! got his little feeling hurt.... but i ain't gonna kiss it and make it feel better.. nope, not dis chick.....

[This message has been edited by diann (edited 04-20-2001).]
Posted By: Over_40_Pirate

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/21/01 08:11 PM

Well Diann...you asked for it, you got it....Toyota Penis
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/21/01 09:57 PM

and it's squeezably irrestistable!
Posted By: CAPTAIN bigzeke

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/22/01 04:10 PM

Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter,
the princess.
But there was a problem.
Everything the princess touched would melt.
No matter what;
metal,
wood,
stone,
anything she touched would melt.
Because of this, men were afraid of her.
Nobody would dare marry her.
The king despaired.
What could he do to help his daughter?
He consulted his wizards and magicians.
One wizard told the king,
"If your daughter touches one thing
that does not melt in her hands,
she will be cured."
The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan.
The next day,
he held a competition.
Any man that could bring his daughter an
object that would not melt would marry her
and inherit the king's wealth.
Three young princes took up the challenge.
The first prince brought a sword of the finest steel.
But alas,
once the princess touched it,
it melted.
The prince went away sadly.
The second prince brought diamonds.
He thought diamonds are the hardest substance
in the world and would not melt.
But alas,
once the princess touched them,
they melted.
He too was sent away disappointed.
The third prince approached.
He told the princess,
"Put your hand in my pocket and feel what
is in there."
The princess did as she was told,
though she turned red.
She felt something hard.
She held it in her hand.
And it did not melt!!!
The king was overjoyed.
Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed.
And the third prince married the princess
and they both lived happily ever after.
Question:
What was in the prince's pants?

(Scroll down for the answer)
V

V

V

V

V

V
M&M's of course.
They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

What were you thinking you pervert?
Posted By: CAPTAIN bigzeke

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/22/01 05:15 PM

This guy walks into a bar and sees a lady sitting by herself. He goes over and
buys her and drink and they chat a while and he leaves
with her to go to her place. They are in the middle of having a good time when
he hears a noise at the door and she says "It's my
husband home for lunch... quick, hide in the closet!" So he does.

He's standing in the closet when he hears this small voice... "Gee, it's dark in
here". He looks around trying to find out where it came
from when he hears it again... "Gee, it's dark in here..."

He quickly whispers "Shhhh, who are you?"

The little voice says "That's my mommy and daddy out there, gee, it's dark in
here, I'm scared, I'm gonna scream."

The man whispers back "No, PLEASE don't scream. I'll give you five dollars if
you don't scream."

The little boy answers "Gee, it's dark in here, I'm pretty scared, I'm gonna
scream..."

"I'll give you ten dollars if you don't scream."

"Gee, it's dark in here, I'm REALLY scared, I'm gonna scream..."

The guy says "Look kid, here's FIFTY dollars, it's all I have, don't scream."

"Ok." the kid whispers quietly.

So the guy waits in the closet till he hears the husband finish lunch and as
soon as he hears the door close he runs out of the closet
and jumps out the window and runs down the street. Later that afternoon, the
lady is out shopping with her son at the mall when he
sees a bike in the toy store window and says to his mom "Gee, I'd REALLY like
that bike."

"Sorry, I can't afford to buy you a bike."

The kid says, "That's ok, I can buy it myself, I have fifty dollars."

She pulls him aside and asks him "WHERE did you get fifty dollars?"

"I'll never tell."

"You BETTER tell me where you got that money."

"I'll never tell."

"You must have done something bad to get that money. I'm taking you to church
and you can tell the priest how you got that money in
confession." So she does.

The little boy is in the confessional and the door closes and he says "Gee, it's
dark in here..."

And the priest answers "Now let's not start THAT shit again..."
Posted By: jlslks

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/23/01 03:36 AM

Diann,
Where are you??? We miss you!!!!Must be out
doing the town...... Can't blame you for that....Mr. TakemetoAC is out there somewhere!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: diann

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/23/01 06:36 PM

aw... john and dennman.. how sweet of ya!!! so tell me, how much DO you miss me?!?! cuz if'n ya really do, and you ain't all tawk like most of dese dudes on here, i'll be gettin an AC ticket here soon!!! you rock bud!!! bring it on!!! i'm waiting.....
Posted By: diann

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/23/01 06:51 PM

jane wrote:
"and it's squeezably irrestistable"

umm janie......first hand experience??!?woo hoo girl you go!!! how bout some pix?!?!? just kiddin....

BIG zekestermon... don't think i've got ya on ignore... i'm just tryin to COME UP wit somethin good enuff for ya!!!
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/23/01 08:11 PM

diann, i haven't stayed with frank 18 years for nothin'!!! *wink*

and he's got a big brain too.
Posted By: Over_40_Pirate

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/23/01 08:39 PM

Ok, jane ...we know why you're with Frank. Give up the goods...what you got that keeps HIM around fer 18 yrs???
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/23/01 10:26 PM

my shining personality!
Posted By: Over_40_Pirate

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/24/01 03:54 AM

uh huh...yeah, right....yep...
Posted By: diann

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/24/01 08:06 AM

Hey way_over_dem_ oh forget it..
hey you ol wanna be pirate wit out a real pegleg... guess you was nappin again and missed it bud!!! jane did a tell all ~ told a 'gettin undressed bedtime story'..... suits ya just right!!! alls i can say, is she can hang wit us no tan line blonde chicks anytime... she knows what's important in life... da brains of a man baby!!! LOL see how you shallow men be?!!? i mean, she didn't say da money, da cars, diamonds, etc...NO!!! she luvs dem brains on her dude!! you go girl!!!!
Posted By: Over_40_Pirate

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/24/01 04:36 PM

That's right...thanks for the reminder. I prefer women who appreciate my mind, rather than my pegleg...but it has a brain too, and therefore must be appreciated. Are you sure you wanna bring up cars, diamonds, and money???? I saw some of the stuff you forwarded to da utter half...plus the message you sent me yesterday about relieving my wallet...ya little gold-digger! [Linked Image]
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/24/01 06:52 PM

confession: the big brain begets the big salary!

BUT, we scraped by for years and i was still there. it was a long haul. i only had one small diamond, and i lost it last year. my car is a '94, but paid off. i am what we call, "low maintainence". those beautiful girls with the great bodies, "high maintainance". you choose.

i don't get many critiques, but i must be pretty good to be kept this long.

[This message has been edited by janeinPA (edited 04-24-2001).]
Posted By: Debbie

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/24/01 08:56 PM

I got a big hunk with a big brain AND a big heart. No big salary, but I too, am low maintanence. I'm happy......... [Linked Image]
He's "my pirate" so the pegleg was standard. [Linked Image]
The big affectionate heart can't be bought for any price...... I'm keeping him.
Debbie
Posted By: Over_40_Pirate

Re: Hey Zekester...... - 04/25/01 12:10 AM

.....but the little brain begets the Big "O"!!!! [Linked Image]
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