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I need somone in my life

Posted By: TULAMPA

I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 01:19 PM

I am a Nigerian, a graduate, I need a companion preferably between the ages of 20 to 30 years old. I am interested in having a Belizean lady because of their good moral conduct.
interested applicant can also get me on my mobile phone number 23408037224570.
Regards,
Taiwo.
Posted By: dbdoberman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 01:28 PM

we have progressed into a dating service!!!

Taiwo, does she have to have money? Do you have money? Are you looking to relocate? If anybody helps you -- you would, of course, have to pay them a fee......
Posted By: TULAMPA

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 01:48 PM

She has to be averagely okay, must be a graduate, I am ready to relocate and no financial compensation attached for the search srictly based on humanitarian.
Posted By: dbdoberman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 01:51 PM

no compensation??? well, I am out of this then.
Posted By: TULAMPA

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 02:30 PM

If you are to get her for me, how much will you charge me?
Posted By: Bernd

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 02:35 PM

Well db, you are out, Im in, Taiwo, Im a man, but I will change my gender quickly, what^s about that???
Posted By: GAY AND DAVID

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 03:00 PM

I have a daughter but it would require 5 goats, 7 chickens, and 3 camels as dowry. wink

i am joking here laugh

4 camels would be required eek

bill, if you are reading this - DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT BUDDY!!!
Posted By: dogmatic prevaricator

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 03:05 PM

I am going to try to start being more sincere, which is impossible to say without being ironic, for me at least.
Posted By: Jester

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 03:24 PM

Wait just a minute here! Are you that Nigerian that took my $10,000,000 and told me I would double it in Diamonds in 2 months?? confused eek
Posted By: Pedro1

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 03:27 PM

No he is the one that promised you 20 million for helping him out of a little bit of bother with the oil company.
Posted By: Bernd

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 03:29 PM

PLEASE!!!! I bit more respectable, I^m waiting for
Bill!!
He got lost in St. Louis???
Maybe he is alredy on his way down with his tank.
Posted By: dogmatic prevaricator

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 03:31 PM

the "ly" suffix is a cultural translation trademark, indicating either legitmacy or subterfuge.
Posted By: TULAMPA

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 04:42 PM

I WANT YOU GUYS TO BE MORE SERIOUS, PLEASE TRY AND HELP ME FIND A REAL LOVER.
Posted By: dogmatic prevaricator

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 04:49 PM

Don't get all uppercase about it. Are tattoos a problem?
Posted By: Debbie

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 04:53 PM

Don't you think you should travel to Belize and try to find her yourself? YOu would be the best judge of who you are compatible with. If you're looking for a "lady" with morals, I hardly think mail order brides are the way to go.... There is something to be said for courting. wink The Belize ladies would be much more receptive to an actual courtship from a gentleman.
Debbie
Posted By: TULAMPA

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 05:09 PM

Debbie, thanks for the clue, I will like to come over to Belize during the xmas period because I will be having my annual leave in December.
How do I see you when I get there? what is your mobile number? can you get me the list of best hotel anb beaches that you have in your country?
Posted By: CHOOCHOO

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 05:36 PM

Debbie,

Can't wait to see your answer to that!

Bombs away.

CC
Posted By: klcman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 05:47 PM

I see bubbles
Posted By: dogmatic prevaricator

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 05:59 PM

"
Posted By: Marty

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 06:15 PM

don't think its bubbles. the IP is from Nigeria. could be someone spoofing
Posted By: klcman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 06:27 PM

definitely spoofing
Posted By: GAY AND DAVID

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 06:52 PM

tulampa, may i ask why you are not considering a nigerian woman since that is where you are from. i cannot believe that there are no nigerian women with good morals to start a relationship with. also, why belize as opposed to fiji or trinidad or anyplace else.
ps debbie is taken
Posted By: captjeff

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 07:06 PM

tulampa,you sound like a nice person ,I have many friends in nigeria ,they bought my aerobics book and video ,and have become so close to the capt..since than have made a fortune in business investments in the country ,look me up when you arive in belize will invite you on my personal yacht ,for a day of fishing or if you perfer crocodile hunting , just like home .. we do this on slow days when the fish are not biting ,just e mail me in advance so I can have peter my man servant prepare a home style feast ,just for you ,have a great day
Posted By: Barbara K

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 07:37 PM

Bubbles emailed me personally and said he was done with the board. He was very polite about it too! We shall see...
Posted By: seashell

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 07:49 PM

He's said that before.
Posted By: dogmatic prevaricator

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 07:58 PM

a pathological narcissist will always seek to leverage it's pathology
Posted By: Debbie

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 08:00 PM

Well Choo Choo, after getting up off the floor from laughing, I have to say I was.... "flattered" by the Nigerians interest...

Gay!! Also thank you for watching out for me. How sweet. Good to know when friends have your back.....

TULAMPA. Yes, I'm taken. Very married, and very American, and much older than your requirement. I don't think I would be
an "appropriate" choice. laugh By all means have a wonderful Christmas in Belize, and happy hunting!!!
Debbie
Posted By: chismera

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 08:01 PM

Self analysis Dog?
Posted By: seashell

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 08:08 PM

chis, you have to go to another thread for self-analysis.
Posted By: dogmatic prevaricator

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 08:12 PM

they're coming out of the woodwork.
Posted By: GAY AND DAVID

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 08:14 PM

that would be the termite thread laugh
Posted By: Denny Shane

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 08:42 PM

This is ironic... yesterday on Hollywood Squares one of the questions was "Who are the happiest people on the planet?" According to some research team people from..... Nigerians are considered to be the happiest people in the world.

Interesting....
Posted By: klcman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 08:43 PM

made Fox News too
Posted By: GAY AND DAVID

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 08:44 PM

evidently the women were not polled
Posted By: Laguna Punta

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 09:15 PM

They're often poled.
Posted By: GAY AND DAVID

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 09:22 PM

bill honey, did you just come out of the woodwork??? cool

omg i mean the woodshed!!! :rolleyes:
Posted By: Short

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 11:23 PM

captjeff,
I remember reading a fabulous crocodile recipe in the "Stone Grill Gazette", at the Radisson; just ask Chef Rob!
Posted By: Pedro1

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 11:32 PM

Yo bwana and if we no catch fish we allowed to cook Nigerians and/or pretty woman-got recipe for those.
Posted By: Chloe

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 11:36 PM

Wheel of Fortune also had a Belize vacation prize, for real.

Too many people know about Belize now.

One thing for sure, this board is not a great place to find a spouse, maybe a good place tho.
Posted By: indygal

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/03/03 11:58 PM

You all are just too much. Thanks for the laughs!
Posted By: toad

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 12:37 AM

forgive me but, i did not take the time to read this....i feel i need to be here..

i need a rich young dumb nymphomaniac who recently inherited a liquor store, one who's good at cooking chinese food, etc....
Posted By: silkpainter

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 01:20 AM

Why do I torture myself like this? Must be hurricane season boredom, (its that whole self-destructive issue) but here goes....
Lee's Rules for Dating on Caye Caulker (which effectively eliminates 99.999999999999% of the men) Read carefully and reflect... I know I'm a hopeless romantic
1. You can not be married or living with someone.
2. You must have a job and be able to maintain yourself.
3. The job can not be selling drugs
4. You can not be missing any of your front teeth
5. You can be broke OR crazy... but you can not be broke AND crazy.
These 5 simple rules have turned me into a nun.
Posted By: silkpainter

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 02:39 AM

A whole hour went by and no funky answers... c'mon guyz... I thought I would get some feedback
Posted By: Chloe

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 03:37 AM

"Lower your standards" hahaha
Posted By: silkpainter

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 07:33 AM

Such a simple answer Cloe, yet so profound! Why didn't I think of that?
Posted By: Denny Shane

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 08:17 AM

1. You can not be married or living with someone.
ANSWER: I'm not, no one will have me.

2. You must have a job and be able to maintain yourself.
ANSWER: What's a job?

3. The job can not be selling drugs
ANSWER: I only buy drugs, not sell. Does buying from the VA hospital count?

4. You can not be missing any of your front teeth
ANSWER: Got 'em all in the front, some in the back are missing tho.

5. You can be broke OR crazy... but you can not be broke AND crazy.
ANSWER: Well, guess I'm out of the running.

Sigh eek
Posted By: Denny Shane

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 12:36 PM

Jeez, I was hoping all the moral women WERE in Belize... that's why I've been looking in Texas! eek
Posted By: dbdoberman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 01:49 PM

having any luck Denny? Maybe I should try looking in Texas!

Silk, I hope AC being close gives you other options. I don't want to think about you on CC listening to Gregorian chants on a Saturday night!
Posted By: klcman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 02:24 PM

ohhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

ohhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Posted By: Denny Shane

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 02:28 PM

having any luck Denny? Maybe I should try looking in Texas!

db.... if I was having any luck I wouldn't be spending so much time on this board! lol eek
Posted By: NYgal

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 02:29 PM

Good Music is like.........
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
Good Food smile
Posted By: Denny Shane

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 02:33 PM

I like it, has a good beat... I'll give it a 95

Another burrito por favor seniorita!! eek
Posted By: captjeff

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 02:35 PM

tulampa my nigerian brother ,have I got a girl for you ?????when I found out the translation for tulampa I know just the babe for you ?????if the translation is true you are a lucky man ???? let me know if thats right and I will hook her up with you ....
Posted By: Chloe

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 03:12 PM

Cpt. Jeff, do you really think so? wink
Posted By: dbdoberman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 03:14 PM

Chloe laugh

you are a great humanitarian, Jeff! I wonder if Tulampa will return?
Posted By: captjeff

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 03:45 PM

yes he is getting ready right now?? why he is taking a snowbubble bath right now , thats the first part of the dating ,ritual, cleaning the body.... I picked up that piece of information from pedro he showed me pitcures when he was ambassador to africa for the queen ????and he shared with me there dating practices one evening at the cafe ?? very imformative I must say ?????
Posted By: Bernd

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 04:25 PM

Lee, people who knows you will agree with me,
you are a wunderfull women, the time was not right but I think CC is not the right place to
find a man.
BUT---if the time is comming up, you will be fine.For every pan exist a lid. LOL
Enjoy your day
Bernd
Posted By: dbdoberman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 04:29 PM

That was the most romantic thing I ever read....

"for every pan exists a lid"!

There IS hope for us, Denny!!! laugh
Posted By: NYgal

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 04:41 PM

Is that a piddle pan and toilet seat lid smile
It's a man thing ..... laugh
Posted By: Chloe

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 05:07 PM

Bernd is romantic.

I have suggested to Silkpainter to stand at the CC water taxi dock every morning, to check out the new male arrivals/tourists. Noting their baggage, will tell her alot.
Posted By: chismera

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 05:18 PM

She could share the dock with all the hustlers and drug pushers
Posted By: Chloe

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 05:24 PM

LOL....true...location location location.

Ok Silk, move up the street by Sandbox corner.

Maybe the airstrip would be a better location.
Posted By: Denny Shane

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 05:27 PM

Yes db, there is hope. I read those words and my heart filled, my eyes watered! I know my longing shant be but a brief moment as I wistfully blow o'er the fields and mountains looking for my true love... there is one thing that confuses me tho... am I the pan or the lid? eek
Posted By: chismera

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 05:31 PM

Airstrip has hungry crocs and a smelly dump
Posted By: dbdoberman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 05:45 PM

The Sandbox it will be.....or else in an inner tube tied off to the dock

Denny, I hope we are the lids!!!
Posted By: dbdoberman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 05:46 PM

and Denny, that was bootiful *dabs eyes*
Posted By: Bernd

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 06:45 PM

O my lord, read this,I was for 10 min. under my desk, lauhging, tears running down, I can`t stop.
Danny, you are searching?? Then you are the lid.
Why? The lid is on top.
You remember, a pan with water is boiling, cooking, wth a lid on top? The lid is shaking up and down.
I don`t know you, maybe you like to be the pan.
LOL,LOL.
But it is dangeris, as a pan you can fly away
like a lid.
This is a German proverb,
ZU JEDEM POT PASST EIN DECKEL,
(POT is not a drug, it is a dialect word for
TOPF)
HE HE don`t laught about my englich, I like it.
LOL
Posted By: Denny Shane

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 07:07 PM

Good lord, I am more confused now more than ever. I want to set the facts (straight) <--the operative word. I am the LID. I think... I can just see me going down to the VA Hospital on Monday and asking my doc if I am the lid or the pot.... Do straight jackets come in all sizes? laugh eek
Posted By: silkpainter

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 07:24 PM

Geeeeezzzz I leave for a few hours and this thread takes on a life of its own. I would pass comment on all this baby talk, but I'm waiting for advice from Bill and Dog. And let's not forget Mooooze. So while I'm waiting, I'm going to ride my beachcruiser bike to the split (also known as the spliff), take a dip in the cerulean blue water, try to ignore everyone (while pretending I dont speak English), then tonight I'm going to the Oeceanside to watch a broken twirly curly barbie doll dance with ZZ-Top. You boys behave while I'm gone! Tomorrows hectic schedule MAY involve taking a water taxi to the big city of San Pedro to eat BBQ. And thank GOD for cable TV.
Posted By: dbdoberman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 09:17 PM

awwww, Lee, it gave us something to do on an otherwise slow Saturday morning!

Your weekend plans sound far better than my plans - enjoy!
Posted By: Laguna Punta

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 09:34 PM

Silky: Here's a proposition that we can sink your teeth into... Howabouta when I return to San Pedro, you send me a plate from Rasta Pasta and I'll send you a plate from Caliente's. A match made in heaven!!! :p :p
Posted By: silkpainter

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 11:07 PM

DB-did it seem like I was scolding you? I was cracking up, cuz it wuz so pwitty. Um er, o.k. snap out of it Lee. Yes Bill, we'll do a Rasta Pasta/Caliente trade when you get back here (to the real world).
Lee
www.caribbean-colors.com
www.cybercayecaulker.com
Posted By: Short

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/04/03 11:14 PM

Where did Taiwo go; I hope we didn't scare him!
Posted By: dbdoberman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/05/03 02:38 AM

Mistress Lee, you were not scolding me??? that could've been fun - scarves and all wink

thank you, yes please, may I have another?
Posted By: Chloe

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/05/03 02:54 AM

DOB have you thought of begging? tehehe
Posted By: silkpainter

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/05/03 02:34 PM

I do love a man... on his hands and knees... scrubbing my bathroom floor....
Posted By: Bernd

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/05/03 02:58 PM

For this Lee you have to be verry good,possible
is everything in life. smile smile smile smile
Posted By: Denny Shane

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/05/03 04:21 PM

I have literally scoured the globe for a present for a woman... but on my hands and knees... scrubbing the bathroom floor.... I just don't see that working... eek
Posted By: Bernd

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/05/03 04:44 PM

Danny, if you in love, you are blind and can`t see the bodden.
Posted By: dbdoberman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/06/03 01:16 PM

not what I had in mind, Silk, and I don't do windows either!

I don't see us winning this, Denny. Whatever happened to women wanting romantic, candlelit dinners? Now it's scrubbing bathroom floors!
Posted By: dogmatic prevaricator

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/06/03 01:32 PM

What if, as a result of a manly scrubbing effort, the bathroom floor was clean enough to eat a candlelit dinner?
Posted By: GAY AND DAVID

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/06/03 01:56 PM

lee, what happened to randy? or is it too much to talk about?
Posted By: GAY AND DAVID

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/06/03 01:57 PM

bernd honey, how are those ankles? will you be dancing at fidos any time soon? smile
Posted By: silkpainter

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/06/03 04:45 PM

Gay, honey, if you want the gory details on how the mothership came and took him back to Mars.... you'll have to email me privately.
Posted By: GAY AND DAVID

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/06/03 05:00 PM

so sorry silk, everyone knows to choose cc over mars. i will email you.
Posted By: indygal

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/07/03 07:15 PM

A guy will do anything when he is IN LOVE. Including bathroom floors if he thinks if might work. I only met one who would do anything, to win me and I married him. Great match, but he is a good bit more particular now days.
Posted By: Bernd

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/07/03 08:11 PM

H Gay and David,
Ankle? Abolutly worst, need eat least 2 more surgerys. Can`t walk more the 30 min.
But still have hope. Table dance at FIDO`S
only if they cut the legs to 20 inch.
Less dangeris LOL
One more month !`m alredy 1 year in Hamburg,
Bull s....
Some day......
Bernd
Posted By: captjeff

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/07/03 08:13 PM

tulampa my nigerian brother ,the board has not heard from you ??what happen to you we all miss you !!!!I had a good looking sweet young thing for you !!! I told her the translation of your name to english she said wow !!wow,wow,! she said if it is only half true she has got to meet you !!!!so get back to the capt jeff lets make a match here ..lets give this girl some thing to look forward too..and also did you ever try the water buffalo ribs at the outbacksteak house in your capital city abuja . ??????????????
Posted By: silkpainter

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/07/03 08:30 PM

Keep her for yourself for a while Capt. Jeff and try her out a few times, just to make sure she's not poison.
Posted By: captjeff

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/07/03 08:43 PM

silk painter I know for a fact she is not ????she is first class ..she has a great smile ,and gives wonderful conversation ... but my dance card is just about full ???so I said mr t might be the one .just trying to do the right thing ,and play cupid ..it makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over ............
Posted By: klcman

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/07/03 10:38 PM

Match.com turned up 2 possibilites - unles DB gets there first wink
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/07/03 11:41 PM

try mooseluv.com
Posted By: GAY AND DAVID

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/13/03 02:19 PM

bernd, i am so sorry to hear that you need more surgery on your ankle. i broke my arm 6 months ago and i am still working on range of movement. its hell to break bones.
Posted By: silkpainter

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/14/03 11:40 AM

Moose Love Call

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a fool-proof plan. They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose.

The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose love call.

Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.

When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, lets get out and get him."

After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do!?"

The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself!"
Posted By: BoardRunner

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/14/03 02:32 PM

Quote
Originally posted by TULAMPA:
I am a Nigerian, a graduate, I need a companion preferably between the ages of 20 to 30 years old. I am interested in having a Belizean lady because of their good moral conduct.
interested applicant can also get me on my mobile phone number 23408037224570.
Regards,
Taiwo.
Posted By: BoardRunner

Re: I need somone in my life - 10/14/03 02:44 PM

oops..didn't mean to double post that?

I will be traveling through Mexico...is it Ok
if I find you someone that will "say" she is a
Belizean with good morals? I can have her waiting for you! and I'll check her morals myself
so that you don't get screwed. It will be well worth my expenses.
You're that guy from Nigeria sending all those
emails about needing a bank account where you can
transfer all those millions that your government
stole from your family or "something" like that
right???
I like those.
If you're the same guy, send me $24,000 so I can open an account in Belize. I'll give it back when
you pick the "lady" up!
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