Press Release - Lawyers

Posted By: LaurieMar

Press Release - Lawyers - 03/28/06 08:44 PM

Texas Parks and Wildlife Department issued a statement today saying Vice President Cheney broke no law by shooting a lawyer instead of a quail a few weekends ago.

A spokesman noted that lawyers are not considered game creatures, and are thus not subject to season limitations or bag limit.

It was further noted that lawyer hunting was encouraged as the state is overrun with the pesky creatures.

Washington, D.C.: A White House source stated that Congress is considering awarding Vice President Dick Cheney the Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian commendation, for his act of bravery in shooting an attorney.

The source was quoted to say "All Americans have wanted to shoot a lawyer at one time or another and Cheney actually had the balls to do it."

In a related story, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, which issues hunting licenses, said that it will start requiring hunters, wishing to bag a lawyer, to have the new "lawyer's stamp" on their hunting license. Currently, Texas hunters are required to carry stamps for hunting birds, deer and bear, at a cost of $7 annually. The new "lawyer's stamp" will cost $100, but open season will be all year long.

The department further stated that although the "lawyer's stamp" comes at a hefty price, sales have been brisk and it is believed it will generate annual revenues in excess of $3 billion dollars the first year. Other states are considering similar hunting license stamps.
Posted By: Ernie B

Re: Press Release - Lawyers - 03/28/06 09:11 PM

They taste like chicken.
Posted By: Seachange

Re: Press Release - Lawyers - 03/28/06 09:20 PM

Hey LaurieMar, I too am a potential hunter target. I wonder if they will start building game farms for us...they could pay us to attempt to evade the hunters...not sure how much they would have to pay, but I am sure some attorneys would do almost anything if someone offered enough for thought. laugh
Posted By: LaurieMar

Re: Press Release - Lawyers - 03/28/06 09:46 PM

Well, Sea, as long at the "game farm" has all the creature comforts and amenities necessary!

Yep, some people, not only attorneys, would do anything if offered enough money. As a civil defense lawyer, I just get the same ole check every two weeks, paid vacation and all the benes. Don't have to worry about chasin any ambulance here!

BTW, the "press release" was sent to me by my dad. LOL.
Posted By: ScubaLdy

Re: Press Release - Lawyers - 03/28/06 09:49 PM

This is rich - I'm sending it to my California lawyer friends.
Posted By: Gela

Re: Press Release - Lawyers - 03/28/06 10:00 PM

LOL Laurie - what's the ruling on "head start" - how much time do you get? Less, if someone is carrying a bow and arrow?
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Press Release - Lawyers - 03/29/06 04:58 AM

HA! Where can I get one of those stamps? I have an opposing counsel I'd like to put out of my misery! laugh - kidding :rolleyes:
Posted By: LaurieMar

Re: Press Release - Lawyers - 03/29/06 04:02 PM

Law, what a great idea. I have a few of those myself! LOL
Posted By: Anonymous

Re: Press Release - Lawyers - 03/29/06 04:24 PM

Hey there girlie! I knew you'd relate! Happy hunting!!
Posted By: LaurieMar

Re: Press Release - Lawyers - 03/29/06 05:20 PM

Well, next time I am wrangling with a jerk of an opposing counsel, I will just imagine that he/she has a big stamp on their forehead.
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