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A New Cult to Join?

Posted By: pugwash

A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 03:31 AM

After much careful consideration, I have decided that I will forgo my powers of logic and reasoning, an also succumb to cult membership!

It seems to be all the rage these days, and as its apparently much more socially acceptable to follow blindly whatever is presented to me by a well spoken empty suit than it is to question the math and the reasoning behind the presentation.

I'm sure I will be much happier in future.

Having made the decision though, I am now considering the pros and cons of a new cult as opposed to the most popular current offering? I have no Liberal Guilt that needs assuaging, and even though my forefathers were held in slavery, I expect no Reparations, (a new Ferrari from the descendants of the long dead Romans who not only enslaved Britons, but also occupied my country would be a pleasant bonus however)

Apparently, the first rule of leadership is promise anything, but try not to narrow it down too much to anything that could be considered a “specific” promise: how about this?

You will all have lots more of whatever it is you want more of, and the (insert word here) will learn not too take us for granted ever again.....YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH RAAA Raaaa

Followed quickly by:
And never again will you personally have any responsibility for anything.....RRRRaaaaaaahhh!

The crowd is in a frenzy now........time to start recruiting

In selecting the cult guidelines, I can't help but wonder if the rules could be perhaps less Marxist and more, well you know, about me?

Members will be reminded that the #1 requirement is to shower praise, warranted or not, on well you know, Me, and anyone questioning the worthiness of a middle aged fat balding white guy with no political achievements will be branded as sexist, racist, carbo-phobic or follicley biased

I've decided that rather than Tree Huggers, Greenies, Eggheads and especially Members of the Media, I'm limiting membership to females between the age of 18 and 30, and comely young Asian girls, especially those blessed with twin sisters, will be more than welcome to worship at the alter of Pug smile
Posted By: divingcowgirl

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 03:38 AM

Well shoot, I guess that leaves me out.. frown I was considering on shaving my head, tithing 100% of my hard earned cash to the alter of Pug while flogging myself with lobster pizza from Pedro's, but since I'm past the age limit, I will quietly decline and continue on my quest for self fullfilment whether it be in booze, books or bad-A$$$es.. smile
Posted By: pugwash

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 03:40 AM

You may qualify under the Huge Breasts Trump Age exemption clause: this (these?) may require further examination, remember, its all about me! smile
Posted By: Mikeywaz

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 05:41 AM

Ha.
Posted By: sweetjane

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 06:06 AM

count me out too. want to consider refining the age spread?
Posted By: Ernie B

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 09:22 AM

MIMI ?????
Posted By: sunandsand

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 11:44 AM

If MIMI is in it, count me out, even if I could qualify under the age bracket (which I CAN'T).
Posted By: Bobber

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 01:34 PM

I'm in Pug. I don't fit any categories, but have contacted the Supreme Court to see if they can get me redefined as a "comely young Asian girl". laugh
Posted By: KC Jayhawk

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 01:58 PM

Well, Bobber, I've looked up each of those words, and they don't seem to fit you, either individually or collectively. However, Pug will certainly need willing minions to act as the necessary procurers, as he will undoubtedly be busy indoctrinating those prospective members who do fit his rigid criteria. whistle
Posted By: divingcowgirl

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 03:04 PM

In other words KC..... Pug is going to need a LOT of help making sure the new members muster up???
Posted By: KC Jayhawk

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 03:12 PM

You are wise, my pretty friend!! grin
Posted By: divingcowgirl

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 03:14 PM

eh, edumacated wurds don sceer me!!
Posted By: Leah-Ann

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 07:49 PM

Not to worry, Susan - like Mr. Marx, "I would not join any club that would have someone like me for a member." Not to say that this club would have me; I certainly meet none of the criteria. Please, you feel free to sign on up.
Posted By: Chloe

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 08:08 PM

Oh crap, another Cult I have aged out of!!!! laugh
Posted By: Leah-Ann

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 08:29 PM

Chloe, you are ageless! smile
Posted By: sunandsand

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/19/08 11:37 PM

No worries here, LA... I don't make the age cut, either....besides, I'm not too much a follower....cults don't do too much for me. I prefer to belong to clubs....and, I only worship one....
Posted By: Ernie B

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/20/08 12:24 AM

ME ? grin
Posted By: PalapaBob

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/20/08 12:32 AM

That was my first thought E! laugh
Posted By: Otteralum

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/20/08 12:49 AM

Your criteria is both ageist and sexist -- I suing!
Posted By: Leah-Ann

Re: A New Cult to Join? - 06/20/08 02:14 AM

need an attorney, Otter? I'd consider pro bono... wink

Sun&Sand, you are singing my song.
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