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CAPITALISM AND THE CORPORATION

Posted By: Marty

CAPITALISM AND THE CORPORATION - 02/23/13 01:38 PM

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell the herd and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
You blame unfair competition and lobby the President to increase the tariff on foreign milk.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are probably mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows.
None of the cows belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You take bets on which one will get to the milking shed first.
Then you put them on the barbie.

AN ASHCROFT CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your own publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your employee at your own bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows from the government.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Turks & Caicos Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder (you) who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Sell one cow to buy some influence in the cow market, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
Your bull is sold to the public.
Posted By: fred2265

Re: CAPITALISM AND THE CORPORATION - 03/26/13 03:34 PM

Excellent smile
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