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Posted By: elbert Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/03/11 11:24 PM
This might be a good place to share Stupid Tourist stories.
I'm having a few pile up and need to vent.
It seems more than a few have left their brains at home but my emails from people planning their trips are indicating perhaps this isn't the case at all.
Posted By: Mike Campbell Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/03/11 11:55 PM
LOL, Do tell more!
Posted By: reaper Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 12:43 AM
Marty doesn't have enough bandwidth to put all of the stupid things I have been asked over the years.
Posted By: Dane Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 01:35 AM
On CC a girl asked us
"Does the sun always come up on that side of the island?"
Posted By: elbert Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 02:30 PM
I always ask 'Where are you staying?' to avoid spending a lot of time and email exchange with some on who might be on a cruse ship or staying in Placencia.
Yesterday I exchange emails with a lady that wanted to do the Blue Hole,Turneffe, Hol Chan Shark Ray, Lamani and visit Bacalar Chico reserve and what ever other trips I could suggest. She wanted to purchase a package, we exchanged 4 emails and then i discovered shes arriving on the 11th departing on the 13th.
Posted By: elbert Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 02:35 PM
Originally Posted by Dane
On CC a girl asked us
"Does the sun always come up on that side of the island?"

Yep one of my favorites is 'Do you have sunsets down here?"
Posted By: Barnacle Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 02:54 PM
her: why is the ocean salty?
me: because fish sweat in it.
Posted By: Diane Campbell Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 03:48 PM
Actually Barn, it's cause the fish PEE in it!
:-)


Here are a few

1. A lady who was already staying on Ambergris Caye asked me if she could drive a car from here to Belize City.

2. The question - "When is it Easter here?"

3. A financial planner who gave a seminar on investing on Belize. She was from NYC and flew here via Miami. During her entire presentation she referred to " investing in South America" and being "south of the Equator".

4. Oh your name is Josh? How did you come to have an AMERICAN name? (said tourist seems not to be familiar with the Bible and Joshua?)

Posted By: shuffles Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 03:52 PM
One of my all time favorites was a couple coming down a few years ago. We exchanged several emails about the options she had to get to San Pedro from the mainland. After about five emails, she finally told me that they had decided to take the bus.

Good luck sista.....
Posted By: shuffles Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 03:54 PM
"How did you get here?"

"On a plane, just like you did."

"Do you like it?"

"No, I'm collecting money to buy a plane ticket out... do you have any extra cash?"
Posted By: SimonB Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 04:28 PM
I ALWAYS get that one...

"How long have you been here?"

"10 years"

"Do you like it?"

End of conversation...
Posted By: Chica Blanca Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 04:40 PM
"So you must be retired now that you've moved here?" As I am serving her and her husband lattes.
"No I have a job." Gesturing to the surrounding establishment.
"But you really must see this as retirement."
"I don't know where working 6 days a week is considered retirement."
Posted By: papashine Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 04:46 PM
"What made you move down here?".....income tax canada....
Posted By: Diane Campbell Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 04:58 PM
More gripes .....

1. Somebody makes an appointment and is either super-late or a no-show and later says something like ....
"Well, figured it's island time, you know?"

2. Asking very inappropriate questions - such as "Are you a dual-citizen?" "Do you pay taxes?" "How much money do you spend living here?"



Posted By: Barnacle Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 05:42 PM
just what do you do all day?
Posted By: Inplub Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 05:47 PM
I was asked all the time if I went fishing and diving every day.
Posted By: SFJeff Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 05:53 PM
Asked to me, as I stand in a 105 degree kitchen, wearing a soiled chef coat, toiling over the line: "So are you the chef???"

Asked amidst the clamor of the front wait station, servers, bartenders, orders going out, dishes coming in, etc: "So is there a restaurant here???"
Posted By: belizeonthebeach Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 06:00 PM
I had a sign in the Palapa Bar that had the 10 answers to tourists questions. When they ask I would just point and say "#7"
Posted By: reaper Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/04/11 06:53 PM
"How many parachutes will we wear"
"Two, a main and a reserve."
"Have you ever had both parachutes never open?"


"How high will we jump from"?
"13,000 feet."
"Do we have to go that high"?
"Sure, why"?
"Can't we jump from lower"?
"No, why"?
"Well, ummm, if both parachutes don't work we won't have that far to fall."

Everyone exits the plane on jump run except for myself and a person doing a tandem and the instructor, the plane is empty, except for the pilot, and we are last out.
"Are we next"? She asks me.

"How fast do we fall?"
"about 120 mph"
"Geez, that's fast. Do we have to fall that fast?"
"Yes"
"Why"
"It's called gravity"

Posted By: reaper Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/05/11 04:33 PM
What part of Mexico is Belize in?

How big is the island of Belize?

Is there a McDonalds or Taco Bell here?
Posted By: purdygrl Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/05/11 06:36 PM
I heard this one the other day at Super Buy South

Customer: Are these prices in US dollars or Belize?
Cashier: All our prices are Belize sir.
Customer: Are you sure because they have a dollar sign in front of them so I thought that meant US.



Posted By: Barnacle Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/05/11 08:37 PM
"I'm a US citizen, you HAVE to give me US change".
Posted By: Portofino Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/06/11 05:43 AM
Tourist pointing out a Hermit Crab while asking: "Are they wild?".

We had a tourist who upset because the sea was too dangerous to swim in:
She had seen a baby Barracuda "eyeballing" her while she was on the dock.

Have to love our tourists!
Posted By: reaper Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/06/11 08:22 AM
"You know what this island really needs".
My favorite statement.

"Is that whitewater out there(pointing to the reef) the Blue Hole"?
"No, it's about 60 miles away".
"If I go up on the roof can I see it from here?"

Posted By: shuffles Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/06/11 02:43 PM
Had a a tourist leave one day after spending only one night out of a seven night stay. "I didn't think there would be so much sand"
Posted By: Phil Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/06/11 03:27 PM
When I lived in LA I had a local ask me if we had Christmas in England. I guess it flows both ways lol.
Posted By: Diane Campbell Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/06/11 05:28 PM
I love it when people return from a trip to Costa Rica to see the rain forest. Inevitably they complain about the wet weather.
Posted By: cracked up Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/06/11 08:09 PM
dumb questions often get dumb and wrong answers from the experts here!! Reaper, How far's the blue hole from spr?
Posted By: Inplub Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/06/11 08:22 PM
One night in our restaurant my son asked me what Tofu tasted like, I told him it tasted like cardboard. Later I asked why and he told me that 2 tourist had asked, did you tell them what I had said? Yes dad you taught me to tell the truth, what did they say nothing they just ordered the Tofu.
Posted By: reaper Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/07/11 01:57 AM
27 minutes by Twin Otter;)
Posted By: pamkillen Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/07/11 02:35 AM
I heard some young woman ask if the fish got pissed off if you pee in the water
Posted By: SP Daily Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/07/11 02:58 AM
They do!
Posted By: cracked up Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/07/11 11:54 PM
probably so climbing to 13000. Used to take 18 mins with a twotter from spr.
Posted By: papashine Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/08/11 01:35 AM
Twotter, short for Twinwaterotter grin
Posted By: reaper Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/08/11 03:04 AM
Pat gets lost every year, adding a few minutes!;)

How far is it to the Blue Hole from the airstrip on SP, about 52 miles? And yup, 23 on board, the climb and a cloud dodge or two adds a bit.
Posted By: cracked up Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/08/11 10:05 PM
40nm, point is that the experts here often give miss-information, biased information and strange advise.
But, this is for entertainment!
Posted By: elbert Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/08/11 11:41 PM
"I'm the guy that emailed you!"
Posted By: elbert Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/11/11 04:31 PM
Got this one this morning...
'Is the 330 price in US dollars or Brazil?'
Posted By: t42 Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/13/11 05:27 PM
My all time favourite was years ago working at a dive shop a lady asked me what time the one o'clock boat leaves.
Posted By: cracked up Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/13/11 06:07 PM
that's not a dumb question in Belize!!!
Posted By: papashine Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/13/11 06:20 PM
True Dat!
Posted By: pamkillen Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/14/11 02:37 AM
What time does it leave?
Posted By: Inplub Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/14/11 03:00 AM
What time do you want it to leave?
Posted By: pamkillen Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/14/11 03:17 AM
When
I can eat whole tamarind fish again!!!
Posted By: Inplub Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/14/11 03:32 AM
You will have to talk to Thipaya.
Posted By: MathieusDeli Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/16/11 05:51 PM
Was working on a liveaboard out of Belize city.... had some lady ask: "is there ocean on the other side of that island?". Here... have a fluffy white towel and a cup of hot chocolate dear....
Posted By: shuffles Re: Dumb Tourist Stuff! - 01/16/11 11:07 PM
We always tell guests when they are headed out for a trip, "If they are not early and they are not late, they are not coming"
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