Dr. Love is the island's and
possibly the world's greatest authority on just about everything. The
Doctor answers questions on almost anything except religion and politics.
Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact the
Family Services Division at
You may write to the Doctor at P.O. Box 35, San Pedro
Town, Belize, E-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org or fax 226-2905.
Dear Doctor Love,
My wife and I have a condo on the island and we are here for three
months every year. There is a restaurant here on the island that I like
very much but my wife refuses to go there anymore because she says the
service is so bad. The waiter is very surly and short-tempered and we
have seen this in his actions more than once. We always tip him well and
sometimes he is fine but at other times he is just more than we are
prepared to handle.
I have mentioned the problem to the restaurant owner but the owner says
it is just because the waiter has never had proper training. I think
problem is that the owner has never had the proper training.
Isn't there some sort of organization that provides training for
employees in the tourist industry? Perhaps they could even give training
to bartenders to teach them to play music that is pleasing for people
other than just the local people. I realize that it is important to play
music for locals as well as tourists but surely there must be some common
ground somewhere between the hip-hop with filthy language and Jimmy
Buffet. Since the service industry is the largest in the country, the
government should provide some kind of training for employees in the
The Belize Tourism Board Training Unit and the Belize Tourism Industry
Association offer seminars from time to time for service employees. It is
up to the business owners to make sure their employees attend. Perhaps
the business owners themselves should be the first to sign up.
Dear Doctor Love,
My family has had a lot of bad luck lately. My brother's boy had trouble
with the police and now he is in Hattieville for a while. My other
brother got in a fight and his arm was broken so he can't work for three
months. Now, my oldest girl is pregnant. My mother thinks somebody has
done "obeah" on the family and we need to visit the lady in Bullet Tree
that takes care of this kind of thing. I think it might be something to
do with what I saw on TV about Mars being close to the Earth. Primer
Impacto says that this is the closest Mars has been in a long time and
everybody knows that kind of thing causes trouble.
What should I do?
The first thing you need to do is learn to distinguish between bad luck
and natural stupidity. The only bad luck you seem to have is being born
into a family that seems to be cursed with making seriously bad
I am pregnant with my second baby and my first baby is still too much
for me to take care of. I would like to have an abortion but my husband
that abortion is wrong. He does not like to use birth control because he
says that is wrong, too. He is not a bad guy but he has trouble with some
things that are so obvious to me. When I had the first baby, I had to
quit work and my husband could hardly support us. He works when the
building jobs are going but when there are no jobs it is hard for him to
make any money. The money I made was steady and it was enough to get us
by in the hard times. If I could go back to work, things would not be so
hard for us. I know that if I have this baby things are going to be even
worse for us when my husband is out of work.
I need to convince him that I need to do something before
it is too late. The doctor says that I have about two more weeks to make
a decision. I have made my decision and now I need some way to change my
Thank you for your help.
You might want to start by reminding him that he is not the one who is
going to have the baby. You will carry it, you will nurse and care for
it. As soon as he is capable of doing these things, then he should have
the final decision. Better yet, he can have a baby of his own.
It's your body. You make the final decision.
Perhaps the two of you should consider marriage counseling.
Dear Dr. Love,
My good friend has a dog that she treats just like it is a person. That
little dog sleeps in her bed, sits in the chairs all over the house and
goes everywhere she goes. I have tried to tell her that this is not
natural. Dogs are not human beings. She says how do I know that all
animals are not the same. What makes us any different than any other
Well, what does?
/s/ The Friend
According to science, the main things that separate humans from the
lower animal forms are that we have opposable thumbs and the ability to
reason. Having opposable thumbs means that, unlike other animals, we can
grasp things. This makes us able to use tools to make things and defend
ourselves. Reasoning ability allows us to plan.
Looking at the evidence seems to suggest that the big difference between
us and lower life forms is that we can play Nintendo and they
Dear Dr. Love,
My husband who lives in another country is in jail. He
will not give me a divorce and we have not lived together for almost ten
years. I married a man here and I have two babies with him. The reason I
married him is because I was lonely and my babies needed a father. When
my friend found out that I was never divorced from my first husband she
was very upset. She said that if anyone ever finds out I could get in big
Is this true? It is not my fault that he will not give
me a divorce. In Salvador, the man has to say yes or there will not be a
divorce. My husband from Salvador will never come here and now I am a
Belize citizen. As long as my husband does not find out I do not see
anything wrong with it. What is so wrong with me getting married
What is so wrong with it is that you are breaking the
law by being married to two men at one time. Now that you are a Belizean
citizen, you can legally divorce your husband from here. Try it. It can
save you a lot of trouble.
Dear Doctor Love,
When I was seventeen my girlfriend
got pregnant. I knew that the baby was mine but I fought against it and
told everyone that the baby could not possibly be for me. The reason I
did this is because I did not want to get married when I still had my
whole life ahead of me. The best thing for me to do was to leave so I
did. I went to school in Mexico and then I went to the U.S. While I was
working in the U.S. my family moved there too. It has been six years
since I have been in Belize. I came here to do some business for my
family's property. A few days after I got back here I was in a restaurant
in the neighborhood where my family's property is and a little boy came
running in the door. I knew he was my son as soon as I saw him. His
mother came in and she was just as beautiful as I remembered her. I said
hello and she picked up her son and walked out of the door just like I
was not even there. I ran after her and told her who I was just in case I
had changed so much that she didn't remember me. She said she knew who I
was but she had nothing to say to me. When I tried to ask about my son
she said I had no business talking to her about anything like that. She
said that the baby is not mine. As far as she is concerned I am just
someone she used to date when she was in high school. She said to leave
her and her child alone or she would get a restraining order and have me
thrown in jail.
I talked with some people and I have found out
that she never got married and she hardly ever dates. Whenever somebody
asks about the baby's father she says he is dead.
I called my mom and told her that I would have to
stay here in Belize for a little while longer and I have been spending
almost all of my time trying to make some kind of contact with my
ex-girlfriend. I am not foolish enough to say that I still love her
because when she was my girlfriend I was too young and stupid to know
what love is. I am twenty-three years old now and I am not the same
person that I was when I was seventeen. I do know that I cared for her a
lot when we were together and I believe that if I was given the chance I
probably still care for her just as much as I did then. Even if we do not
love each other the fact is that I am still the baby's father and I
should have some kind of rights as his father. I am willing to pay child
support if I could have the opportunity to see him but she does not need
the money. Her family has plenty of money.
How can I get through to her that I am a changed
person and that I am willing to take some kind of responsibility for my
/s/ Running Out of Time
All of us make bad decisions at some
time in our lives. Those who are smart try to take care of the problems
and do what they can to minimize the damage. Sometimes we simply have to
live with the consequences of a bad decision.
Your worst decision was your refusal to
acknowledge the child as yours. Your second worst decision was to
disappear for six years. How do you expect a girl to feel when she is
abandoned by the man who fathers her child? Don't expect to just waltz
back into her life and take over where you left off six years
A good place for you to start in your situation
is by paying child support. Even if she returns the checks at least she
will know that you are sincere. If she ever starts to cash the checks you
at least have your foot back in the door. Don't blow it this time.