Dr. Love
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The Doctor will be appearing in the Uniform Parade, as usual. Feel free to get his/her/it/their autograph and any personal advice you may need. You may also write the Doctor at P.O. Box 35, San Pedro Town, Belize or fax 026-2905. For all of you electronic cyberspace people with questions - you may E-mail the good Doctor at [email protected]. Tata for now.
Dear Dr. Love,
Dear Wants a Waiver,
NO WAY! The Doctor's first experience with SPANDEX involved a wide belt
designed to wrap around flabby body parts. Electrical contacts planted in
the belt were to shock the fat into shape. As a result of this SPANDEX
-Electro Stimulas the Doctor hates both SPANDEX and electricity. Speaking of
SPANDEX; the Olympics could have been a SPANDEX nightmare. It was good to
see that the only people wearing the stuff had bodies designed for such usage.
Dear Dr. Love,
Could you share some of your experiences with us? Real life is much
more interesting than all this drivel.
Needs a good uplifting experience
Dear Confused,
The Doctor's experiences do not lend themselves to the printed page.
Small children are known to read this column.
Dear Dr. Love,
Why do you suppose more tee shirt shops are opening in San Pedro? Every
time I get in my boat and come to town there's a new tee shirt shop or
hardware store. Don't people know that tourism is down? We can't afford to
buy $40 tee shirts.
Just whining
Dear Whining,
They are not trying to sell you the $40 tee shirts. These are for
tourists. You get to buy them when they are marked down to $10 after a few
years.
Dear Dr. Love,
We have a new TV channel that has me puzzled. The women have a lot of
hair and everyone has deep accents of some kind of English. They sing really
well but their talk shows are all about religion. These people are boring
and there are no good action shows. Even the news show is usually about how
Armageddon is coming soon. Who is Armageddon? Do we need to buy tickets in
advance?
Puzzled
Dear Puzzled,
Your are either talking about the religious channel or the Arabic
channel that comes from Dubai. You must be considering the religious channel
because the Arabic channel is occasionally entertaining. On the religious
channel most of the action probably takes place in front of the mirror in
the make up room. Armageddon is a reference to the end of the world. You
need to either read the Bible more or listen to old jokes like this. Knock,
knock. Who's there? Armageddon. Armageddon who? Armageddon tired of Channel 4.
Dear Dr. Love,
Could you start running some personal ads in your column? I would like
to meet someone, but I don't want people to know who I am. If you read the
letters and decided who was OK then you could give me a message. It would
sure help me.
SWF/ no smoke/mature with own income/likes to dance, swim, poetry and
moonlight.
Dear SWF etc.
Gee, you certainly are attractive, especially the part about "have your
own income". You like poetry, huh? Roses are red, Money is green. You're the
cutest thing I've ever seen. How old are you? How tall are you? Never mind,
you've covered the important point. You are certain to get some replies.
Dear Dr. Love,
The September Celebrations have got me down in the dumps. Everything
costs so much money. We used to have dances and activities that were free
and everyone could go, now it costs. What's to celebrate?
Watching my money
Dear Watching,
Contrary to popular belief there has never been a free dance. Someone
has to pay the band and someone has to buy the tickets. These functions were
held by public groups and the proceeds went to fund such organizations as
the Lions Clinic and the schools. Now, bars hold the dances and the proceeds
go to them. The great thing about public functions is that they don't have
to make a huge profit to be successful. Therefore the prices are lower. We
need more functions by our public organizations.
Dear Dr. Love,
Who makes up the rules and laws for the town? I say it's the central
government but my friend says it's the town board. Who's right?
Needs to know
Dear Needs,
We make them up. We are the ones who elect the town board and the central
government. After they are elected they are supposedly acting on our behalf
in everything they do. Do you believe they do? Neither does the Doctor.
