Yep, Jane - change is very difficult and takes lots of time. Something I have been dealing with too. Have you read a book called "Who Moved My Cheese?" It is great - about a one hour story of how to deal with change in your life. The characters are two mice named Sniff and Scurry and two little people named Hem and Haw. Cheese is the metaphor for what you want to have in your life. It could be anything. The characters go through the maze looking for what they want when they come face to face with unexpected change.

The story is so simple and you can get it at your local public library.