After all the political back and forths lately I thought I should forward this funny stuff I received today....

DEMOCRATIC
> You have two cows.
>Your neighbor has none.
>You feel guilty for being successful.
>Barbara Streisand sings for you.
>
>
>
>REPUBLICANISM
>
> You have two cows.
>Your neighbor has none.
>So?
>
>
>SOCIALIST
>
> You have two cows.
>The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
>You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.
>
>
>COMMUNIST
>
> You have two cows.
>The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
>You wait in line for hours to get it.
>It is expensive and sour.
>
>
>CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
>
> You have two cows.
>You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
>
>
>BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
>
> You have two cows.
>Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk
>the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
>
>
>AMERICAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
>You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
>surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
>analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
>Your stock goes up.
>
>
>FRENCH CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>You go on strike because you want three cows.
>You go to lunch and drink wine.
>Life is good.
>
>
>JAPANESE CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and
>produce twenty times the milk.
>They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
>Most are at the top of their class at cow school.
>
>
>GERMAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
>excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
>Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
>
>
>ITALIAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
>While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
>You break for lunch.
>Life is good.
>
>
>RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>You have some vodka.
>You count them and learn you have five cows.
>You have some more vodka.
>You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
>The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.
>
>
>TALIBAN CORPORATION
>
> You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
>You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
>parts.
>You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find
alternatives
>to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
>
>
>IRAQI CORPORATION
>
> You have two cows.
>They go into hiding.
>They send radio tapes of their mooing.
>
>
>POLISH CORPORATION
>
> You have two bulls.
>Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
>
>
>BELGIAN CORPORATION
>
> You have one cow.
>The cow is schizophrenic.
>Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
>The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
>The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
>The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
>The cow dies happy.
>
>
>FLORIDA CORPORATION
>
> You have a black cow and a brown cow.
>Everyone votes for the best looking one.
>Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally
>vote for the black one.
>Some people vote for both.
>Some people vote for neither.
>Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
>Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you
think
>is the best-looking cow.
>
>
>CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
>
> You have millions of cows.
>They make real California cheese.
>Only five speak English.
>Most are illegal.
>Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

whaddaya mean yer all outta Jack's?