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He left home about 8:30 a.m. to play golf with his friends. On the way out
the door he answered his wife's "What time will you be home?" question with
"Probably about 1:30. I'll have lunch at the club."

1:30 came & went, 3:00 passed, 6:15, still not home. Finally, at about
7:00pm, he rolls into the driveway, leaves his clubs in the garage, and
presents his wife with a pizza, and begins the apologetic story.

"We finished our game about 11:30, had lunch, and I started home, when
alongside the road I saw this attractive girl with a flat tire on her car.
I stopped to help, got the tire changed, and looked around for a place to
wash my hands. She offered money, but I refused, so she suggested that I at
least allow her to buy me a beer. She said there's a tavern just up the
road, and they have a restroom, so you can clean up a bit. I agreed to
stop. We had a beer, then another beer, then a couple more, and I realized
that this girl was not only pretty, she was very friendly, and a good
companion to spend time with. Before I knew it, we were in the motel next
door having sex. And that is why I am so late getting home."


His wife looked him right in the eye and said "Don't Shit me! You played 36
holes, didn't you?!!"

I too got 9 points but why when I answered all 10 questions correctly? Shouldn't I have gotten a 10?

Funny : http://www.wimp.com/oldpeople/ http://www.wimp.com/oldpeople/

But not enough inputs for the Steering airbag to deploy, plus his seat belt was done up .
This is my job that I do.
Ya figure sleeping standing Up ??

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price.'

Followed by, "Cleanup in aisle 7, cleanup in aisle 7". LOL

A Wall St CEO, a tea-party member and a union member are all sitting around a table with with 12 cookies in the center. The CEO takes 11 of the cookies and then turns to the tea-party member and says,"that union guy is trying to take your cookie".

Heard that one Marty. Unfortunately, it assumes the cookies just magically appear at the center of the table -- which is the real problem. Here's how it really goes with two more players -- the government and another CEO.

A tea-party member owns a local cookie shop with 12 cookies on the shelf. The government comes in and takes 6 cookies so that the CEO of the multi-national Cookie Corp. can be subsidized to employ more domestic cookie-making union members. The tea-party member complains that a small business like his cannot compete when the CEO and union labor are the priority -- so he complains to government. The government then takes 5 more cookies so the Wall St. CEO can be made more liquid in the hopes he will loan money to the tea-party member. The tea-party member is finally able to get his loan to compete with Cookie Corp. but it costs him his last cookie as collateral. The tea-party member is forced to go out of business and becomes an involuntary union employee of Cookie Corp.

Wouldn't it be more like:
A tea party member owns a profitable cookie shop. The CEO of Cookie Corp. sees there is profit to be made in that area. He opens a Cookie Corp. shop right across the street and under prices the local business. The tea party member can't make a profit any more and has to close. The CEO of Cookie Corp. uses his new profits to buy the local congressman and gets laws passed to pay him to move jobs over seas and reduce all public assistance for the unemployed while lowering taxes on the richest citizens. The tea party member can't get a job or any help and loses his house, gets divorced and his kids end up as crackheads. The tea party member blames his problems on big government with its high taxes and the CEO gets a huge bonus.

And here is who ate the Cookies!! <<<(Clicky there)

ScubaLdy ^^^^ "Cookies" is underlined & Blue as a hyperlink .

WHO?