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and Bings on mine...sheesh you just never know!

wish I had all that hair! (and teeth)

The Presidential election 2012 was too close to call. Neither Mitt Romney nor Obama had enough votes to win. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the sportsmanlike way to settle things.


The candidate that caught the most fish at the end of the week would win the election.

It was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the winner.


After much of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote frozen lake in northern Wisconsin .


There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this isolated lake and return at 5 P.M. with their catch for counting and verification by a team of neutral parties.


At the end of the first day, Mitt Romney returned to the starting line and he had 10 fish.


Soon, Obama returned and had no fish. Well, everyone assumed he was just having a bad day or something and hopefully, he would catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day Mitt came in with 20 fish and Obama came in again with none. That evening, the democrats got together secretly and said, "I think that Mitt Romney is a low-life, cheatin' son-of-a-gun. Tomorrow don't bother fishing. Just spy on him and see just how he is cheating.'

The next night (after Mitt returns with 50 fish), the democrats got together for the report of how the republicans were cheating.

Obama said, "You are not going to believe this, he's cutting holes in the ice."

A COWBOY TOMBSTONE:

Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J.
Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah. He died not knowing
that he would win the "Coolest Headstone" contest.


FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to
time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with
you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or
you could end up dead like me.

And Brains....

Doctors vs. Gun Owners
Doctors

(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is

700,000.

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians

per year are

120,000.

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is

0.171

Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept. of
Health and Human Services.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Now think about this:

Guns

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is

80,000,000.

(Yes, that's 80 million)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths

per year, all age groups, is

1,500.

(C) The number of accidental deaths

per gun owner is

.0000188

Statistics courtesy of FBI


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So, statistically, doctors are approximately

9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Therefore , 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN,

BUT

Almost everyone has at least one doctor.
This means you are over 9,000 times more likely to be killed by a doctor as by a gun owner!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Please alert your friends

to this

alarming threat.

We must ban doctors

before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Out of concern for the public at large,

We withheld the statistics on

lawyers

for fear the shock would cause
people to panic and seek medical attention!

NEW WORD FOR THE DAY.

Exhaustipated: Just too tired to give a shit.

I love it, that explains my mood perfectly.
Kat