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Who'd the puppy do?

innocent bystander?

The label that came with the photos said - "How to tell if your dog has been involved in a sex scandal."
I laughed out loud.

Marty - very good!

Diane!!

Job Interview


Personnel Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?"

Old Man : "Honesty."

Personnel Manager: "I don't
think honesty is a weakness."

Old Man : "I don't really give a shit what you think"

Two nuns sat at traffic lights in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside.

"Hey, get your [#%!] out, you penguins!" shouts one of the drunks.
The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata,

"I don't think they know who we are - show them your cross".

So Sister Immaculata winds down her window and shouts,

"Screw off you little dick heads, before I come over there and rip your balls off"!
Sister Immaculata looks back at the Mother Superior and asks?

Was that cross enough?

Job Description

Someone asked me,"Now that you're retired, do you still have a job?"

I replied, "Yes, I am my wife's sexual advisor."

Somewhat shocked, they said, "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?"

"Very simple. The wife has told me that when she wants my f##king advice, she'll ask me for it."

HAHAHAHA ! So true !

Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:

There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to

spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning

he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car

for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy-- just him and his granddaughter.

One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not

get out of bed. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to

their drives and would be very disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to

the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for her weekly drive and breakfast.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her

grandfather who was still in bed. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" he asked.

No, it was really boring. We didn't see a single asshole, queer,

piece of shit, horse's ass, socialist left wing Obama lover, blind

bastard, dipshit, or Muslim camel humping son of a bitch anywhere

we went!"

We just drove around and Grandma smiled at everyone she saw. It wasn't any fun at all.