Dr. Love

The Island Newspaper, Ambergris Caye, Belize            Vol. 10, No. 6            February 10, 2000

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Dr. Love is the island's and possibly the world's greatest authority on just about everything. The Doctor answers questions on just about anything except religion and politics. Persons needing additional assistance or counseling should contact the Family Services Division at 02-77451.         

    You may write to the Doctor at P.O. Box 35, San Pedro Town, Belize, fax  026-2905 or e-mail at [email protected]

Dear Dr. Love,

    From time to time you have expounded on sand fleas, explaining their tastes and mating habits. Could you enlighten us semi-tourists on the life styles of these miniscule ants that often appear around the house? This winter they arrived marching in on a ray of sunshine on the floor and I thought "How cute!" But now I feel them crawling all over me in bed and when I watch TV. They seem to like the bathroom sink, too and will always find a tiny crumb that I haven't cleaned off the kitchen counter. What to do?

/s/ S. T.

Dear S.T.,

    The tiny ants are great weather forecasters because they can sense changes in the atmosphere nearly as fast as a barometric pressure gauge. When they invade, it usually means that rain is on its way. On a cloudless day when there is no rain in sight if you see the ants you can bet that it will be raining in a day or two. Cockroaches are also great weather predictors. When they start flying around inside your house it will rain soon.

Dear Doctor Love,

    My best friend married a man from another country right after high school and she moved away with him. That was more than five years ago and last summer they came here to visit for a month. Her husband and I fell in love with each other and had an affair that lasted the whole time they were here and we have been writing to each other secretly. Now he tells me that they are coming to visit again this year. He wants to talk to me about divorcing his wife and marrying me but I am not sure that I want to do this. She is my cousin, (third cousin) and it would cause a great scandal in my family if I married him. I love him but my family has always come first. If we married I do not think I could ever even come back here and face them. Besides that, if they got divorced she would come back to live here and I would never be able to live it down. Doctor Love, what should I do? I have never met a man who makes me feel this way and I am afraid I will never meet another one. I don't want to give him up but I love my family too. I need to make some kind of a decision before they arrive. I am counting on your advice.

/s/ Cousin

Dear Cousin,

    This is really a very simple problem and is easy to solve. What you are doing is wrong. Quit it and the problem will immediately be solved. Let's face it; you are on a collision course with disaster. You may have been lucky enough to get away with an affair on this island for a month but the chances of doing it for two months are very slim. You are going to get caught and then that fire you are playing with will really burn you. Drop it. Now.

    There are many more men who can make you feel all of the same things that you feel for this one. As long as you are involved with him you won't have a chance to meet them.

Dear Doctor Love,

    There is a young child on this island who is not a Belizean. The mother does drugs and the child is completely unsupervised. He goes to bars and stays out until all hours of the night because no one watches after him. If he was a Belizean child, I would call the police to take care of this but he is from another country and I think they would not do anything. Is there anyone who can do anything about this situation?

/s/ Concerned Mother

Dear Mother,

    It does not matter what nationality the child is. Call Family Services Division at 02-77451. Their business is taking care of problems of this nature. If they observe acts of neglect to children, it is their duty to contact the proper authorities to get the problem remedied.

Dear Doctor Love,

     Sometimes I have problems understanding whether you are joking when you answer your letters or if you are being serious. That business about driver's licenses last week is a good example. If it is true that you can buy a license, I need to know who to contact. I want a license but I do not feel like being bothered with studying for a test. If a license is only $200 I would be willing to pay it. Who do I get in touch with?

/s/ Walker

Dear Walker,

    It was no joke that in the recent past, word was on the street that $200 would buy a license. It was no joke that there are people on this island who are licensed to drive who cannot speak even rudimentary English. The only way you can pass a written test in English when you don't read English is to pay the person who is doing the testing. As a result, we have idiots driving taxis and cars who have not the slightest idea of what is meant by right of way, they do not know that a stop sign means stop and do not know that they are driving a big dangerous vehicle that can kill or maim people.

    Hopefully, the corrupt days of buying a license are over. Now, we need to find a way to clean out the drivers who obtained a license illegally. A good starting point would be to question the drivers at check points, questions in English. If they don't speak English, further investigation is in order.



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