Dr. Love

The Island Newspaper, Ambergris Caye, Belize            Vol. 9, No. 39            October 14, 1999

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Dear Doctor Love,
    I have a problem that I hope you can help me with. Last Saturday my husband took me and our children to the September celebration at the park. While we were there we saw the rest of my family, my mom, my brother,  my two sisters and my husband's family, too. There were a lot of people there and we all passed the evening and the early part of the night at the park. I had to go home and get some money and while I was in the house, I saw my husband's brother and my sister go in my sister's house together. I waited for about twenty minutes and they still did not come out. I was afraid to go over and knock on the door and now I am afraid to say anything about it to anyone. What should I do? If I mention it to my husband, he will beat his brother and then everyone will know. I want to talk to my sister about it but I am afraid of that, too. How should I talk to her about it?
/s/ Scared

Dear Scared,
    Ask her directly what was going on. Believe it or not, things are not always what they appear to be. She may have a perfectly reasonable explanation for disappearing into her house with her brother-in-law. If not, perhaps she can invent one that will satisfy your curiosity. It probably would not be wise to mention this to any of the rest of the family unless you have a lot of bail money set aside.

Dear Doctor Love,
    I wrote to you before about how to get a boy to pay attention to me. This was the boy who talked to me when there was no one around but would not notice me if his friends were there. I took your advice and now he won't leave me alone. He walks to school with me and at school he sees me every chance he gets. He walks me home and comes over to my house in the evenings. Now that he spends so much time with me I noticed that his friends pay more attention to me and one of them is really cute. I would like to get a chance to talk to him but I can't because my friend is always there. I don't want to drop him, but I need a way to get him not to be behind me all the time. Can you please give me some advice one more time?
/s/ Unsigned

Dear Unsigned,
    Some people smoke cigarettes and enjoy them. When they don't have a cigarette, they want one all of the time. Just because you want something does not always mean that it is good for you. Why don't you simply do nothing for a while? Enjoy the attentions of the boy that you wanted for a while longer. You can give him hints that you would like to be alone occasionally and perhaps he will become bored with trying to keep up with you. If not, you can come right out and tell him. A direct route is usually the best way to handle any problem.

Dear Doctor Love,       
   I am almost thirty and have been dating the same person for the last three years. My problem is that I really like this person but am not in love with him. He is now pressuring me to marry him and I don't know what to do. I have not seen anyone else out there that interests me. Should I settle and marry this man or should I hold out and wait for Mr. Right who may never come? I am not getting any younger and don't know what to do.
/s/Confused

Dear Confused,
    It is possible to marry someone you do not love and be happier than someone who marries for love. How many women do you know who married for love and now are lonelier than most single women because their man is out in the bars every night? How many do you know who married for love and found out that Mr. Right is an alcoholic spouse abuser who can't hold down a job? Many arranged marriages have worked out fine and the majority of them are probably as successful as marriages performed in the name of love. Take another look at this man and list his good qualities and his bad ones. If the good outweigh the bad, then maybe you should give him some consideration. Mr. Right is just another word for that feeling that happens when hormones go wild. This is considered falling in love. As a matter of fact, the giddy feeling associated with falling in love should be considered suspect. It usually happens to people who are at the right age for childbearing, but not for child rearing. It is simply Nature's way of assuring that there will be a next generation. When you get past those teen years and the early twenties, love is often based more on practicality.

Dear Dr. Love,  
    I am very happy to see that part of Coconut Drive will be bricked. I read in the San Pedro Sun that the Ministry of Works gave the Town Board $100,000Bz for this project with the other $70,000Bz coming from local businesses and that the bricking will stop by the Belizean Reef. Don't you think that our Town Board and local Representative should petition Central Government for more money to finish the bricking to cover the lakes that form on the road to Island Supermarket? Ambergris Caye is the country's biggest taxpayer; don't you think it's ridiculous that local businesses have to donate to something that their taxes are supposed to be paying for? Why does the government build roads and hospitals in other parts of the country but we have to beg money from local businesses and foreigners to build ours? Isn't it time Ambergris Caye gets a little back of what it gives?      
/s/ Taxpayer

Dear Taxpayer,
    Why should we start getting it now? For the size of its population, Ambergris Caye has long been the largest contributor of taxes to Central Government. So far, so good. We pay the taxes and they are distributed to other districts. It is absolutely amazing that we received anything back at all. After all, we were all but ignored in the cleanup after our brush with Hurricane Mitch and local businesses had to chip in on the dredging that was done afterwards.
    The big question is why would we spend $170,000 on what is essentially no more than a long driveway? No wonder it is going to stop at the Belizean Reef. At the current rate it would probably cost at least $1,000,000 to connect up with the pavement by the Island Supermarket. Even with the drainage system $170,000 seems a trifle steep for the work being done.
   With our Area Representative now appointed Minister of State and Town Board elections coming up, if Ambergris Caye were to ever get their fair share you would think it would happen now.

Dear Doctor Love,
    My husband works hard but he does not make a lot of money. I have a part-time job and I bring in a little bit each week but it is sometimes more, sometimes less. My husband's friends make more money than he does but he hates to admit it. We buy a lot of things that we do not really need just so we can say we have them. We bought a big new large screen television set just because my husband's friend bought one. The old one work- ed fine and we see exactly the same programs on this one that we saw on the old one. Now, my husband wants a golf cart just because two of his friends have golf carts. I told him we don't need one because we live downtown but he says that we can use it on weekends and I can pick up the kids at school. Our kids have done fine walking home for the last four years. He just wants it because he thinks it makes him look like he has money and his friends have one. How can I talk him out of doing something so foolish? We do not need another bank loan.
/s/ Nearly Broke

Dear Broke,
    They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, if it isn't done because you're lazy or if it doesn't make you broke. Since your husband is working, he must not be lazy. Put your foot down and tell him that if he buys the golf cart, you are going to quit working and bringing in any money. The easiest way to become poor is to pretend that you are rich.

Dear Doctor Love,
    Our baby is 11 months old and my wife treats this little girl like she is made out of gold. The child never gets to play with other children and never gets to play outside. In 11 months she has never even been allowed to get dirty. I keep telling my wife that this is not natural. My family had nine children and we were not treated like this and yet we all survived and did well. We want to have three more children but I don't see how my wife will have the time to care for them like she does with this one. I love my daughter as much as my wife does but I don't think it is natural to raise the baby this way. What do you think?
/s/ Concerned Father

Dear Concerned,
    Try to keep in mind that the second baby is never as breakable as the first. If your wife has that second baby her attitude will change quickly.

Do you have a problem and need the Doctor's advice? You can write to the Doctor at P.O. Box 35, San Pedro Town, Ambergris Caye, Belize, Central America or e-mail sanpdrosun@btl.net



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