Dear Doctor Love,
What makes the world go round?
/s/ Granny J.
The earth actually goes around in two ways. Revolution is the motion of
the earth in its yearly orbit around the sun. Rotation is the spinning of
the earth around its own axis each day. Scientists would have us believe
that the force of gravity causes the spinning but the Doctor knows the real
explanation. The earth is round and sitting out in space. Have you ever seen
a person rolling a log in the water by standing on it and moving their feet?
Or a gerbil running on an exercise wheel? The earth is the same way. More
than 5 billion people live on this earth and half of them are in daylight
while the other half are in night. A lot of those in daylight are walking or
driving their cars. This motion keeps the earth turning, just like the
gerbil on the exercise wheel. If they all stopped at one time, the earth's
rotation would grind to a halt.
What do you think of the concern of some of the world's top thinkers
about the millennium crisis for computers? Will it really be the catastrophe
that some people predict? What should I do to prepare for it?
/s/ Not a Compu-Nerd
The Doctor sees thousands of print and electronic journalists running
around looking for an article to write. The people who will be affected by
the date glitch on computers will have their part of the problem taken care
of when that clock rolls over to mark the year 2000. They have too much at
stake to sit by without taking care of business. In the meantime thousands
of trees will be sacrificed for paper so that writers can stir up what they
hope will be a controversy.
This is not a catastrophe. Hurricane Mitch was a catastrophe. An avalanche
in Colorado that kills a lot of people is a catastrophe. A thermonuclear
blast is a catastrophe. On January 1, 2000 this old globe will still be
rolling over and night will still follow day.
I have been reading with interest your column for the past year but as
yet I have been unable to decipher what sexuality you are. I keep trying to
determine your sex based on your responses but it seems like I am getting
nowhere close to solving this enigma. I would be ever so grateful if you
could tell me what sex you are.
/s/ Curious Reader
The Doctor has certain readers with whom a close personal bond has been
formed over the years. These are people who can ask for and receive a
personal visit from the Doctor (providing of course that travel expenses are
paid along with an appropriate tithe.) This group includes certain heads of
state and industry CEO's. For example, last week's trip to Mexico was funded
by the Vatican. Do you think the Pope dreams up all of those things to say
all by himself? Of course not. Thanks to some good advice from someone we
all know and care about the Pope was not at a loss for something to say to
those hordes of Mexicans. The point is that be cause of the personal visits
these people have a reason to know the Doctor's gender. To the readers it is
best not to know. Then the Doctor can be anything their imagination
Dear Doctor Love,
A real estate agency in Belize is offering some land for sale on
Ambergris Caye. It is a fairly large tract and the price is one that I can
live with. My problem is that my business does not allow me to get away from
the U.S. for another three or four months but I don't want to lose out on a
really good deal. Is there a reputable photographer that I can hire to take
a picture of the property for me? I would certainly appreciate anything
you can do for me about this.
For any large tract of land on Ambergris Caye at what sounds to be a
reasonable price, the Doctor recommends Joe Miller Underwater Photography.
You're going to need a photographer who is wearing a scuba tank, fins and
carrying a waterproof camera. Visit the property by boat and you will
probably be able to ride around the property line.
I have been married for two years and I still can not get used to
married life. My husband would be with me twenty-four hours a day if I would
let him but it drives me nuts to be around someone that much. He is not
jealous or anything like that but he just likes to be close to me. I need a
chance to be alone. I want my own friends, not the ones that he picks for
me. I love my husband but I need to make him understand that sometimes I
just want to be left alone. How can I do this without hurting his feelings?
You can't. It is best to just be direct and tell him how you feel. It
may hurt his feelings a little bit but explain to him that everyone is
different. Be careful how you do it though. One reader wrote in to the
Doctor about a similar problem. On the Doctor's advice the reader told his
wife he needed more space. She locked him out of the house.
Dear Dr. Love,
I saw a television show the other day on Channel 25 or 26. It was one of
those teeny-bopper shows about kids in high school or college. One of the
characters was a radio station personality called Doctor Love. I was
wondering if it was you or perhaps one of your relatives. Please enlighten
/s/ Faithful Reader
What you saw was a cheap imitator. Like Elvis, the Doctor has been
plagued by imitators throughout a career spanning two decades. Only the San
Pedro Sun has the real Doctor.