Two incidents have happened that make my blood boil, that infuriate me beyond belief. Perhaps because it hits so close to home, and is something I have had to live, one incident in particular truly breaks the heart. The other makes me want to throttle the perpetrator and make sure they never propagate. Actually, make that the case with both incidents.
Perhaps I should start with a question: At what age is it acceptable to start dating?
See, to me, dating is something teenagers do: mid- to late teens. I am sure many will agree with me that at the age of eleven, boys and girls still have cooties. You with me? You agree?
So, how in blazes is it acceptable that a young girl, who is not even out of primary school, and at the tender age of eleven, already in a relationship, and one that is doomed to bring unhappiness no less? This young girl is dating someone who is obviously much older than her. He has declared that he will indeed marry her, but that she should know, he has a sweetheart in the mainland, and that he intends to keep the sweetheart because she’s loaded, and therefore he will never worry about money.
I will let you digest that for a bit.
The other incident involves the sexual abuse of yet another eleven year old, by a family member: the stepfather. That incident is horrible, and I know that she probably was very confused about events happening and hurt and sad and angry and all other emotions. Perhaps she loved her family, including the stepdad, so to be hurt by him, that is a major mental scar.
Even more worrying though, are the stories that now swirl around; stories that include things like, this girl was so obviously in love with the stepfather, and she had consented. Thankfully, the law prevents such things from happening, but who knows how cowed the only witness will be when she has to stand up against him, and if the stories are true, stand up against her family.
So, again, back to my fury: At the age of eleven, shouldn’t these little girls still be children? They’re not women. We’re not in the dark ages; 11 and 12-year-olds have no business being prepped for playing house with grown men. They should be playing, making friends, running away from boys with cooties. They should be children.
About that young girl and her stepfather: why is it that when incidents like this happen, and the girls are over a certain age (mostly in the two digit age), the stories carry different meaning. Why all of a sudden, it’s not really rape, because she obviously knew what she was doing? Why do people still think that way? Rape is rape, any way you look at it. It makes no difference how old you are, it still hurts, it’s still confusing, it is ugly, a horror, and takes away a piece of you. Who lets these perpetrators live?
Perhaps what pisses me off so much is that I knew this person. I have known him for so long, since I myself was a young, impressionable girl. And I always thought, what a nice man, such a success story – to go from point A to point B and succeed. When talking it over with my better half, the point came up that “It really is like HIV/AIDS: it’s not written on anyone’s face.”
You don’t meet someone and see a sign over them that say, “Child Abuser”. So, really, how can you judge someone? You have to trust. And predators hope to earn that trust. It makes me sick, really, really sick.
The same could be said for that boyfriend and his sweetheart. How old is he, and why is he preying on a girl of eleven? He is obviously much older than her, if he knows the concept of sweetheart, and having a sugar mama. Where is that young girl’s family and why is this being allowed in the first place? Is it possible to report the man? Get a restraining order? Talk some sense into that girl? WHAT CAN BE DONE?
I am glad that word is getting out about such cases, especially about victims of abuse. For far too long, cases were kept quiet; the subject considered too taboo. Women and children have suffered in silence for too long. I am glad to see and hear that people no longer will stay silent, but at the same time, it breaks my heart that there are so many cases. How many are still being kept quiet? How is it possible to ensure that things like this don’t happen?
Why is it that we humans hurt ourselves and others so much?
I want to know what you think. I need to know, because I for one am too confused and too angry – any suggestions? I am fresh out of ideas at the moment.
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