Friend: Nah, itís fun. Why donít you wanna?
Fast forward a few years later, and the amount of cigarettes and alcohol I have ingested more than make up for the one or two tokes I may have had. But considering my instant addiction to the cigarettes, I may be a loser pot head still living at home driving my father crazy. So who knows? The possibilities are endless as to what my future could have been, but I always believed I could not possibly be that parent telling her children not to do something when Iíd done it myself.
Itís far easier to realize that we will all grow up to be hypocrites anyway, and live a little. Besides, if I really didnít want to partake in such behavior, maybe I didnít need to mingle with the crowd. At least I was hanging out with the cool kid Ė ha, so much for avoiding peer pressure.
Itís no different when you get older. You want to fit in, but youíre a bit more defined, and in your mind, you know what you donít want to become. I donít want to become an embittered shrew, or the gossipy bitch that knows everyoneís business, and meddles with everyoneís lives. But conversation, especially in a small community, is often laced with gossip, a dash of malice, a generous sprinkling of negativity and just a smidge of self-righteousness. ďWell, I hate to talk, but did you know that ÖĒ
Itís so easy to get caught in that web.
Telling oneself, and others for that matter, that you should treat others as you want to be treated yourself, well, thatís a given. Actually living that rule is another thing. We can all pass judgment on others, claiming to be offended by their actions, words, whatever, but it truly is a matter of throwing stones from the proverbial glass casita. What we do, how we do it, and who it affects, could be misconstrued by some Ė they may take offense at the manner in which we accomplish things. Those who donít believe in what we stand for will always be offended Ė and is it really worth losing time and energy trying to convince them otherwise?
Hence it is a pleasure to meet like-minded people who enjoy a laugh, good conversation and discovery of mutual affections, people who screw up but can accept (and laugh at) their faults. Thatís not to say weíll ever say we never gossip. But it is refreshing to acknowledge our faults and not be judged by those who matter most. We may not like everything our friends stand for, but we can look past that because we know there are some not-so-nice parts of us that theyíre also ignoring.
My point: I donít really even know at this rate what my point is (duh) Ė but I do know that when I wrote that subject line I didnít mean to make a pun! I guess it is about acceptance and learning to live with ourselves before we can live with others. Weíre not getting any younger, and the stage where we can take our toys and leave the playground in a huff is long gone. Itís probably best to accept weíll never make everyone happy, and live caring for what we stand for, and in turn, what our friends stand for as well. Share the toys, and if a few get broken, itís all about growing up.
I still hang out with my abovementioned friend Ė and he did find it in him to quit. No nagging from me, promise! Heís got no children yet, but I cannot wait for when he does! I so want to be in on the big ďDonít do drugsĒ conversation! ††††††††††
Click for the Current Column...
Search Messages CIG Info