Every time I set about to write something, I seem to be on a rant. This one however, in my humble opinion, is so justified. I mean, talk about getting our hopes up and getting us all excited! HGTV just had a show, House Hunters International, and Belize was the lucky, lucky location.

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    This woman was choosing her second home, to get away from all the stress of high style living in California or wherever she was from. Her budget? A mere US$600,000. Thatís $1.2 million dollars to this poor Belizean Ė in other words, a whole LOTTA cash. She looked at truly beautiful places, each one of them, unique and gorgeous - and luxurious. I donít think I could ever hope to own a place half as gorgeous. But I sure will try! Anyway, I digress.

    After getting the drinks together and settling in for a rousing good time, hoping to see some class shots of a place so familiar and near and dear to my heart, I waited for the show to begin. I had some real sympathy for her, because I mean, truly, working three jobs, and not spending enough time with family can be hard! And sheís beautiful, but really, thatís beside the point (tee hee).

    Cut to some cool shots of downtown Ambergris Caye. Such a beautiful place indeed, and no wonder she wants to come and spend time here!

    And then, she started the tour. What a classic!

Mary Gonzalez's Facebook profile

    ďOh, the third bedroom doesnít have itís own private bath!Ē

    ďI want a place where I wonít have my cell phone ringing, and a place where I can do as little work as possible.Ē (Wait, I know weíre a third world country sweetie, but you do know that we have many amenities here right?)

    ďOh, I donít like rattan furniture! I am not sure I like that TVĒ

    Wait, you have six hundred freaking thousand dollars to spend on a place. You mean to tell me that you canít afford to buy your own flat screen? Youíre probably a real go-getter. Youíre telling me that you canít work out something with the agents where you get furniture youíre happy with? You know, for someone who wants to come down and relax, those are rather strident standards! At this rate, do you even want a TV, if your plan is to snorkel and indulge in nature? Itís barefoot relaxation honey, not South Beach!!

    Needless to say, after watching that show in its entirety, it was a free for all discussion. Honestly, Belize is a wonderful place, and we offer so much. But to know that there are people who demand a bathroom per bedroom, and canít see anything other than a flat screen. Worrying about a pier in front of their condo that could, GASP!, mean people using it and blocking your private time. For all her stringent requests, she should have built her own place!

    I canít wait to see what does happen when she actually comes to live here! How will she react to other things that weíve gotten used to, like, electricity going off on a whim? Water being cut off once in a while for repairs? People being nice and friendly, coming up talking to you while youíre out and about? Ha! Imagine one of the land sharks hitting her up.

    I would like to know the condo/building agentsí reaction to the show. Being shown in a not-so-flattering light, when the reality is so much better, and bigger. That must have been such a disappointment!

    Thankfully, not everyone whoís moved down her behaves like that. Some people actually have their priorities straight, and have learned the way of the worm, which is adapt to the place theyíre moving to. You donít change an entire community; you embrace it, become a part of it, and if you donít have a third bathroom, then for godís sake, donít cry about it Ė no-one cares, itís just another day in paradise!

    All I know is, when I have my own place, I wonít be crying about flat screens and bathrooms and size of master bedrooms and having walk-in closets. Iíll just be so happy to have my own place in my own sweet slice of paradise. That is all that matters. Enjoy the thrill of being in a place as beautiful as Ambergris Caye, soak in the warmth and colors and ambiance. Third bathroom be damned! ††††††††††

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