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Two freshman philosophy students see the following bulletin posted on the wall of their lecture hall:

Crash Course in Logical Assumptions
Wednesday, November 10, 2004, All Day


Neither of them knows what it means and they are both curious. The pair decide to find the professor and ask some questions. When they locate the professor's office, the bolder of the two enter the building while the other remains outside.
Student: "Uh...Sir..What does Crash Course in Logical Assumptions mean?"
Professor: "Well, it involves taking information that you have, forming assumptions using logic, and then creating new information. Let me try to answer your question by asking you a question. Do you own a car?"
Student: "Uh...Yes, I do."

Professor: "Well, then I can now logically assume that you drive."
Student: "Yes, I drive. "

Professor: "Then I can logically assume that you drive on weekends."
Student: "Yeah, I drive on weekends, I go out on dates."

Professor: "Then I can logically assume that you have date partners."
Student: "Well, yes, I have a girlfriend."

Professor: "Then I can logically assume that you are heterosexual."
Student: "Uh...hell yes! OK, I think I understand what this course is about now. Thanks a lot for your time."

Once back outside, his friend asks him: "So, what's it all about?"
"Its about using information and stuff...Let me answer your question by asking you a question. Do you own a car?"
"No."
"Uh...Then you're homosexual, dude!"

ROFLMAO

Lesson in Human History

A division of the human family into 2 distinct political groups began some
12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains in the summer &
would go to the beach & live on fish & lobster in winter.

The 2 most important events in all of history were: the invention of beer
& the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization & together were the
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups: Liberals
& Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain & that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet,
so while our ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be
invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were
formed.

Some men spent their days tracking & killing animals to B-B-Q at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as
"the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker & less skilled at hunting learned to live off
the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's & doing the
sewing, fetching & grooming. This was the beginning of the Liberal
movement.

Along that same thought....the word "vegetarian" actually is an old Indian
word meaning........"can't hunt"..........

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats,
the invention of group therapy & group hugs & the concept of Democratic
voting to decide how to divide the meat & beer that conservatives
provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by
the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their
beef well done. Sushi, tofu, & French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in
Hollywood & group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the
designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also
bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat & still provide for
their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers,
corporate executives, soldiers, athletes & generally anyone who works
productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire
other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers &
decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in
Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the
Wild West was tame & created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in human history.

Bobber, thats no joke !

It was too good not share, and I didn't want to stir the other pots.

since when?

I've matured. :rolleyes:

So, yer not having any fun either?

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You know you're living in 2004 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.

7. You make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.

8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.

10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.

11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.

12. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.

13. Every commercial on television has a website at the bottom of the screen.

14. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

15. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

16. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.

17. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

18. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

19. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

20. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.