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#188932 01/31/06 12:01 PM
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 4,294
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I wanna see it!! frown

#188933 01/31/06 12:02 PM
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Anonymous
Anonymous
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no you don't - wasn't that good

#188934 01/31/06 07:36 PM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 135
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Blonde's year in Review...January - took knew scarf back to store because it was too tight....February - fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels (the bottles won't fit in the typewriter)....March-got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box says "2-4 years! April - trapped on escalator for hours....power went out! May - tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets! June - tried to mgo water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - lost breast stroke swimming competition....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms! August - got locked out of car in rain storm...car soaked,because top was down. September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it??? October - Hate M&M's...they are so hard to peel November - Baked turkey for 4.5 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108! December - couldn't call 911...there's no eleven button on the phone! What a year!!

#188935 01/31/06 09:34 PM
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 2,366
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GOOD ONE

#188936 01/31/06 10:10 PM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 453
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C
I decided to pull it beacuse it was hurtful to some. so thats that

#188937 01/31/06 10:38 PM
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Anonymous
Anonymous
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A BLONDE, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

#188938 02/03/06 05:30 PM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 135
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Knitting...A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she she was oblivious to his flashing lights, he turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

#188939 02/03/06 06:06 PM
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 135
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At The Doctor's Office....A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed, likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream. Finally, the doctor said, "Your not really a redhead, are you"? "Well,no" she said, "I'm actually blonde." "I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

#188940 02/06/06 04:08 PM
Joined: May 2000
Posts: 7,051
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#188941 02/06/06 07:36 PM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 991
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A guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to a cute blonde.

He immediately turns to her and makes his move. "You know," he says, "I've heard that flights will go quicker, if you strike up
a conversation with your fellow passenger. So let's talk."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closes it slowly and says to the guy, "What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," says the guy. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," says the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff---grass. Yet the deer excretes little pellets, the cow turns out a flat patty, and the horse produces muffins of dried poop. Why do
you suppose that is?"

The guy is dumbfounded. Finally he replies, "I
haven't the slightest idea!"

"So tell me," says the blonde, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power, when you don't know sh**?


Live so that when you arise in the A.M, Satan shudders & says..
'Oh sh t..she's awake!'
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