Liberal: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Instead of giving your neighbor one of your cows, you write to your congressmand, demanding that he pass legislation for more government programs to help your neighbor get a cow. You hold a concert to raise awareness for the cow-lessness. Barbara Streisand sings for the cow-less, who couldn't attend because ticket prices are so expensive that only people with 3 or 4 cows can afford to attend. You wear a ribbon that signifies that you care about cowless people, even though you really haven't done anything to help them at all.

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