thanks, all. esp susan. first, dad isn't elderly, which is the "too bad" part. he is only 64.

second, it is a very rare condition, but it is what dudley moore had.

mom is being really great, and i am so proud of her. she has some very hard days, but gets thru them. although the diagnosis is new to us, the illness is not. we think he's had it 3 or 4 years now, but much worse in the last year. we DID initially do just what she said, infantized him. but now we are trying hard not to. (easier said than done). we focus on quality of life, and as stated, letting him enjoy his grandchildren.

i will look into your suggestions, and thanks for your care & concerns. but again, i was mostly giving our dr friend a chance for redemption.